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The Power of Human Connection | Mary Davidson | TEDxYouth@IdahoFalls


hello everyone I’m so glad to see you

hello everyone I’m so glad to see you all here but I must admit that I’m very

all here but I must admit that I’m very

all here but I must admit that I’m very nervous it’s like I have an anxiety

nervous it’s like I have an anxiety

nervous it’s like I have an anxiety disorder or something before I like I

disorder or something before I like I

disorder or something before I like I start I’d like to introduce myself a

start I’d like to introduce myself a

start I’d like to introduce myself a little bit if you had to fit me into a

little bit if you had to fit me into a

little bit if you had to fit me into a clique I’d definitely be an art nerd I I

clique I’d definitely be an art nerd I I

clique I’d definitely be an art nerd I I de Lyonne go and I spent all my free

de Lyonne go and I spent all my free

de Lyonne go and I spent all my free time drawing and painting my love for

time drawing and painting my love for

time drawing and painting my love for music is deep and I play through

music is deep and I play through

music is deep and I play through different musical instruments I also

different musical instruments I also

different musical instruments I also played on a volleyball team for over six

played on a volleyball team for over six

played on a volleyball team for over six years and I love to get good grades but

years and I love to get good grades but

years and I love to get good grades but my favorite part of life is hanging out

my favorite part of life is hanging out

my favorite part of life is hanging out with my eight older siblings and my mom

with my eight older siblings and my mom

with my eight older siblings and my mom dad and playing with my nieces and

dad and playing with my nieces and

dad and playing with my nieces and nephews now I’m gonna ask you guys to do

nephews now I’m gonna ask you guys to do

nephews now I’m gonna ask you guys to do something for me if you or a loved one

something for me if you or a loved one

something for me if you or a loved one has suffered from depression or anxiety

has suffered from depression or anxiety

has suffered from depression or anxiety please raise your hand that’s a lot of

please raise your hand that’s a lot of

please raise your hand that’s a lot of us now if you had a head read my

us now if you had a head read my

us now if you had a head read my biography or come to this event today

biography or come to this event today

biography or come to this event today and you just saw me on the street and

and you just saw me on the street and

and you just saw me on the street and even after getting to know a little bit

even after getting to know a little bit

even after getting to know a little bit about me you probably would not guess

about me you probably would not guess

about me you probably would not guess that I suffer from anxiety and

that I suffer from anxiety and

that I suffer from anxiety and depression there’s a lot of us that

depression there’s a lot of us that

depression there’s a lot of us that suffer now depression is a mood disorder

suffer now depression is a mood disorder

suffer now depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of

that causes a persistent feeling of

that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest and may

sadness and loss of interest and may

sadness and loss of interest and may cause the feeling that life isn’t worth

cause the feeling that life isn’t worth

cause the feeling that life isn’t worth living there is no physical surety and

living there is no physical surety and

living there is no physical surety and what causes depression but there has

what causes depression but there has

what causes depression but there has been certain consistencies observed in

been certain consistencies observed in

been certain consistencies observed in the brains of the depressed one

the brains of the depressed one

the brains of the depressed one consistency includes comparatively small

consistency includes comparatively small

consistency includes comparatively small hippocampus the hippocampus is a small

hippocampus the hippocampus is a small

hippocampus the hippocampus is a small part of the brain at the back and it

part of the brain at the back and it

part of the brain at the back and it controls and is in charge of cortisol

controls and is in charge of cortisol

controls and is in charge of cortisol the stress hormone it also controls

the stress hormone it also controls

the stress hormone it also controls serotonin now this inadequate size of

serotonin now this inadequate size of

serotonin now this inadequate size of the hippocampus produces less serotonin

the hippocampus produces less serotonin

the hippocampus produces less serotonin and less serotonin results in feelings

and less serotonin results in feelings

and less serotonin results in feelings of sadness

lack of enjoyment in day-to-day life and

lack of enjoyment in day-to-day life and now another consistency observed is high

now another consistency observed is high

now another consistency observed is high amounts of cortisol cortisol is a stress

amounts of cortisol cortisol is a stress

amounts of cortisol cortisol is a stress hormone and this causes depressed people

hormone and this causes depressed people

hormone and this causes depressed people to feel stressed easily we often feel

to feel stressed easily we often feel

to feel stressed easily we often feel stressed to the point where getting out

stressed to the point where getting out

stressed to the point where getting out of bed seems impossible some days

of bed seems impossible some days

of bed seems impossible some days depression is at a weakness and it may

depression is at a weakness and it may

depression is at a weakness and it may require long-term treatment motivation

require long-term treatment motivation

require long-term treatment motivation sometimes is non-existent and life may

sometimes is non-existent and life may

sometimes is non-existent and life may appear to be meaningless depression and

appear to be meaningless depression and

appear to be meaningless depression and all these factors that contribute to

all these factors that contribute to

all these factors that contribute to depression can and often leads to the

depression can and often leads to the

depression can and often leads to the suffering individuals death by suicide

suffering individuals death by suicide

suffering individuals death by suicide 60% of those who have committed suicide

60% of those who have committed suicide

60% of those who have committed suicide have been reported to have suffered with

have been reported to have suffered with

have been reported to have suffered with a mood disorder related to depression

a mood disorder related to depression

a mood disorder related to depression well one in eight American teenagers

well one in eight American teenagers

well one in eight American teenagers suffers from depression in the United

suffers from depression in the United

suffers from depression in the United States estimated globally 350 million of

States estimated globally 350 million of

States estimated globally 350 million of us from all ages and ethnicities suffer

us from all ages and ethnicities suffer

us from all ages and ethnicities suffer this is a huge worldwide does issue that

this is a huge worldwide does issue that

this is a huge worldwide does issue that is rarely talked about depression

is rarely talked about depression

is rarely talked about depression anxiety are not things that should be

anxiety are not things that should be

anxiety are not things that should be ignored nor belittled or are they things

ignored nor belittled or are they things

ignored nor belittled or are they things that should be embarrassed about our

that should be embarrassed about our

that should be embarrassed about our hidden currently there are four known

hidden currently there are four known

hidden currently there are four known consistently efficacious strategies in

consistently efficacious strategies in

consistently efficacious strategies in dealing with anxiety and depression I’m

dealing with anxiety and depression I’m

dealing with anxiety and depression I’m sure you’ve heard of them and they go as

sure you’ve heard of them and they go as

sure you’ve heard of them and they go as follows therapy medication exercise and

follows therapy medication exercise and

follows therapy medication exercise and sleep therapy has been known to be

sleep therapy has been known to be

sleep therapy has been known to be effective in cases ranging from mild to

effective in cases ranging from mild to

effective in cases ranging from mild to severe this is with the correct

severe this is with the correct

severe this is with the correct therapists of course the adaa states

therapists of course the adaa states

therapists of course the adaa states that cognitive behavioral therapy works

that cognitive behavioral therapy works

that cognitive behavioral therapy works to replace on protective in negative

to replace on protective in negative

to replace on protective in negative thought patterns with more realistic and

thought patterns with more realistic and

thought patterns with more realistic and useful ones therapy focuses on becoming

useful ones therapy focuses on becoming

useful ones therapy focuses on becoming going through specific steps overcome

going through specific steps overcome

going through specific steps overcome anxiety and depression it involves

anxiety and depression it involves

anxiety and depression it involves facings one fears as a pathway to

facings one fears as a pathway to

facings one fears as a pathway to recovery medications can also be useful

recovery medications can also be useful

recovery medications can also be useful there’s a popular saying that says

there’s a popular saying that says

there’s a popular saying that says everything physiological is biological

everything physiological is biological

everything physiological is biological this means that everything mental that

this means that everything mental that

this means that everything mental that goes on in our brains also has a

goes on in our brains also has a

goes on in our brains also has a physical cause

physical cause

physical cause so our physical cause also has a

so our physical cause also has a

so our physical cause also has a physical treatment and that comes in the

physical treatment and that comes in the

physical treatment and that comes in the form of medications there are two

form of medications there are two

form of medications there are two different types of depression

different types of depression

different types of depression medications in the forms of SSRIs and

medications in the forms of SSRIs and

medications in the forms of SSRIs and SNRIs SSRI stands for selective

SNRIs SSRI stands for selective

SNRIs SSRI stands for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor and it

serotonin reuptake inhibitor and it

serotonin reuptake inhibitor and it increases the amount of serotonin in the

increases the amount of serotonin in the

increases the amount of serotonin in the brain therefore often providing a remedy

brain therefore often providing a remedy

brain therefore often providing a remedy to the feelings of helplessness and

to the feelings of helplessness and

to the feelings of helplessness and worthlessness SNR is also increase

worthlessness SNR is also increase

worthlessness SNR is also increase serotonin and norepinephrine it is

serotonin and norepinephrine it is

serotonin and norepinephrine it is widely accepted that medications are

widely accepted that medications are

widely accepted that medications are effective in most cases exercises a

effective in most cases exercises a

effective in most cases exercises a third generic strategy in dealing with

third generic strategy in dealing with

third generic strategy in dealing with depression MK McGovern who specializes

depression MK McGovern who specializes

depression MK McGovern who specializes in brain research states that physically

in brain research states that physically

in brain research states that physically active people recover from mild

active people recover from mild

active people recover from mild depression work quickly and physical

depression work quickly and physical

depression work quickly and physical activity is related to good mental

activity is related to good mental

activity is related to good mental health as people age depression is

health as people age depression is

health as people age depression is related to low levels of serotonin and

related to low levels of serotonin and

related to low levels of serotonin and norepinephrine well exercise increases

norepinephrine well exercise increases

norepinephrine well exercise increases these neurotransmitters by stimulating

these neurotransmitters by stimulating

these neurotransmitters by stimulating the sympathetic nervous system this

the sympathetic nervous system this

the sympathetic nervous system this indicates exercise as a significant

indicates exercise as a significant

indicates exercise as a significant potential mood enhancer sleep is a fire

potential mood enhancer sleep is a fire

potential mood enhancer sleep is a fire forced widely known and aid in dealing

forced widely known and aid in dealing

forced widely known and aid in dealing with depression its benefits are obvious

with depression its benefits are obvious

with depression its benefits are obvious sleep is a restorative state however

sleep is a restorative state however

sleep is a restorative state however when sleep is disrupted or inadequate it

when sleep is disrupted or inadequate it

when sleep is disrupted or inadequate it can lead to tension vigilance

can lead to tension vigilance

can lead to tension vigilance irritability and other mood related

irritability and other mood related

irritability and other mood related symptoms having someone you know and

symptoms having someone you know and

symptoms having someone you know and love battle depression is sometimes hard

love battle depression is sometimes hard

love battle depression is sometimes hard it sometimes bill feels as if there is

it sometimes bill feels as if there is

it sometimes bill feels as if there is no way to help however from an insider’s

no way to help however from an insider’s

no way to help however from an insider’s perspective I can tell you that is the

perspective I can tell you that is the

perspective I can tell you that is the people in my life who help me overcome

people in my life who help me overcome

people in my life who help me overcome my struggles the most there are many

my struggles the most there are many

my struggles the most there are many things that you can do to help and there

things that you can do to help and there

things that you can do to help and there are things that you can do to not help I

are things that you can do to not help I

are things that you can do to not help I think a relative of mine summed it up

think a relative of mine summed it up

think a relative of mine summed it up pretty well what not to do she said one

pretty well what not to do she said one

pretty well what not to do she said one of the biggest struggles that I have

of the biggest struggles that I have

of the biggest struggles that I have with depression is that I just want

with depression is that I just want

with depression is that I just want someone to listen to me but I know that

someone to listen to me but I know that

someone to listen to me but I know that they won’t because one they just want to

they won’t because one they just want to

they won’t because one they just want to fix it and move

fix it and move

fix it and move – they want me to be normal and they

– they want me to be normal and they

– they want me to be normal and they won’t listen and three is they will

won’t listen and three is they will

won’t listen and three is they will encourage me to seek professional help

encourage me to seek professional help

encourage me to seek professional help when all I want is to be hugged by

when all I want is to be hugged by

when all I want is to be hugged by someone that I love if you have if you

someone that I love if you have if you

someone that I love if you have if you know someone who struggles from

know someone who struggles from

know someone who struggles from depression sit down listen to them and

depression sit down listen to them and

depression sit down listen to them and get them their favorite treat often all

get them their favorite treat often all

get them their favorite treat often all we need is a hand to hold in the

we need is a hand to hold in the

we need is a hand to hold in the listening ear there’s a statistic that

listening ear there’s a statistic that

listening ear there’s a statistic that says that 98% of people think that those

says that 98% of people think that those

says that 98% of people think that those with a mental illness are likely to

with a mental illness are likely to

with a mental illness are likely to attack and be more aggressive this is

attack and be more aggressive this is

attack and be more aggressive this is part of the reason why we as depressed

part of the reason why we as depressed

part of the reason why we as depressed and anxious people struggle to open up

and anxious people struggle to open up

and anxious people struggle to open up for fear of being judged or having a

for fear of being judged or having a

for fear of being judged or having a stigma attached to us the best things

stigma attached to us the best things

stigma attached to us the best things that you can do for us is to validate us

that you can do for us is to validate us

that you can do for us is to validate us like tell us that you know that there’s

like tell us that you know that there’s

like tell us that you know that there’s an issue and to love and to listen I was

an issue and to love and to listen I was

an issue and to love and to listen I was diagnosed with the precedent and anxiety

diagnosed with the precedent and anxiety

diagnosed with the precedent and anxiety disorders at the end of my sophomore

disorders at the end of my sophomore

disorders at the end of my sophomore year in high school as a 15 year old I

year in high school as a 15 year old I

year in high school as a 15 year old I didn’t understand what was happening

didn’t understand what was happening

didn’t understand what was happening happening to me and I didn’t think my

happening to me and I didn’t think my

happening to me and I didn’t think my struggles were worth the effort to try

struggles were worth the effort to try

struggles were worth the effort to try and fix after school volleyball

and fix after school volleyball

and fix after school volleyball practices were frequently interrupted by

practices were frequently interrupted by

practices were frequently interrupted by what I didn’t know were anxiety attacks

what I didn’t know were anxiety attacks

what I didn’t know were anxiety attacks my grades began to slip because instead

my grades began to slip because instead

my grades began to slip because instead of attending classes I would lock myself

of attending classes I would lock myself

of attending classes I would lock myself in a school bathroom stall and cry

in a school bathroom stall and cry

in a school bathroom stall and cry because I felt terrible at this point in

because I felt terrible at this point in

because I felt terrible at this point in my life I was miserable and I was

my life I was miserable and I was

my life I was miserable and I was clueless to the fact that it was human

clueless to the fact that it was human

clueless to the fact that it was human relationships that would help me to get

relationships that would help me to get

relationships that would help me to get feeling better

feeling better

feeling better one afternoon I finally worked up the

one afternoon I finally worked up the

one afternoon I finally worked up the courage to attend my honors biology

courage to attend my honors biology

courage to attend my honors biology class this quickly ended in me sobbing

class this quickly ended in me sobbing

class this quickly ended in me sobbing because I felt terrible and I didn’t

because I felt terrible and I didn’t

because I felt terrible and I didn’t know why luckily I had a gracious

know why luckily I had a gracious

know why luckily I had a gracious science teacher who had me come sit down

science teacher who had me come sit down

science teacher who had me come sit down in his office and he talked to me and he

in his office and he talked to me and he

in his office and he talked to me and he listened and after listening to my

listened and after listening to my

listened and after listening to my problems he helped me to kind of realize

problems he helped me to kind of realize

problems he helped me to kind of realize that it may be depression that I was

that it may be depression that I was

that it may be depression that I was experiencing after listening he

experiencing after listening he

experiencing after listening he encouraged me to seek professional help

encouraged me to seek professional help

encouraged me to seek professional help and he told me about the four ways to

and he told me about the four ways to

and he told me about the four ways to deal with

deal with

deal with oppression he then gave me some advice

oppression he then gave me some advice

oppression he then gave me some advice that has inspired me and driven me to

that has inspired me and driven me to

that has inspired me and driven me to seek help and seek a a relative healthy

seek help and seek a a relative healthy

seek help and seek a a relative healthy mental state he told me that I needed to

mental state he told me that I needed to

mental state he told me that I needed to talk he told me that I needed to talk to

talk he told me that I needed to talk to

talk he told me that I needed to talk to my parents and I really lucked out in

my parents and I really lucked out in

my parents and I really lucked out in that department because I do have some

that department because I do have some

that department because I do have some great parents and talked to people who

great parents and talked to people who

great parents and talked to people who care about me and we all have people who

care about me and we all have people who

care about me and we all have people who care about us genuinely and who love us

care about us genuinely and who love us

care about us genuinely and who love us and want us to succeed and so after he

and want us to succeed and so after he

and want us to succeed and so after he told me that I just it really clicked in

told me that I just it really clicked in

told me that I just it really clicked in my mind that I was important enough and

my mind that I was important enough and

my mind that I was important enough and that my problems were with worth fixing

that my problems were with worth fixing

that my problems were with worth fixing and I think a lot of us struggle with

and I think a lot of us struggle with

and I think a lot of us struggle with realizing that we are worth the effort

realizing that we are worth the effort

realizing that we are worth the effort and that we are worth fixing our

and that we are worth fixing our

and that we are worth fixing our problems unfortunately at the beginning

problems unfortunately at the beginning

problems unfortunately at the beginning of my diagnosis I still had trouble

of my diagnosis I still had trouble

of my diagnosis I still had trouble admitting to myself that I had a problem

admitting to myself that I had a problem

admitting to myself that I had a problem and so when I would get home from school

and so when I would get home from school

and so when I would get home from school I would continue to isolate myself

I would continue to isolate myself

I would continue to isolate myself because I didn’t want others to see my

because I didn’t want others to see my

because I didn’t want others to see my pain and I didn’t want to admit that I

pain and I didn’t want to admit that I

pain and I didn’t want to admit that I had a problem so one night this is

had a problem so one night this is

had a problem so one night this is really personal for a personal story but

really personal for a personal story but

really personal for a personal story but one night I was feeling particularly low

one night I was feeling particularly low

one night I was feeling particularly low and I got the idea that self-harm might

and I got the idea that self-harm might

and I got the idea that self-harm might distract from the mental torment that I

distract from the mental torment that I

distract from the mental torment that I was experiencing I grabbed a cup of I

was experiencing I grabbed a cup of I

was experiencing I grabbed a cup of I grabbed a pair of dull scissors from a

grabbed a pair of dull scissors from a

grabbed a pair of dull scissors from a cup on the shelf and I began to create

cup on the shelf and I began to create

cup on the shelf and I began to create small incisions on my arm tears stream

small incisions on my arm tears stream

small incisions on my arm tears stream down my face as the incisions got longer

down my face as the incisions got longer

down my face as the incisions got longer and deeper and I just wanted to say

and deeper and I just wanted to say

and deeper and I just wanted to say anyone considering yourself harm please

anyone considering yourself harm please

anyone considering yourself harm please do not I’ve never felt more panicked and

do not I’ve never felt more panicked and

do not I’ve never felt more panicked and alone than in these moments as the cuts

alone than in these moments as the cuts

alone than in these moments as the cuts got deeper and longer I began to

got deeper and longer I began to

got deeper and longer I began to hyperventilate more heavily and I sobbed

hyperventilate more heavily and I sobbed

hyperventilate more heavily and I sobbed and that’s when my big brother Joe

and that’s when my big brother Joe

and that’s when my big brother Joe walked in Joe is a sixth form of a more

walked in Joe is a sixth form of a more

walked in Joe is a sixth form of a more muscular build

muscular build

muscular build at that moment we did not have a great

at that moment we did not have a great

at that moment we did not have a great relationship

relationship

relationship when he walked in he didn’t say anything

when he walked in he didn’t say anything

when he walked in he didn’t say anything he just came and he picked me up and he

he just came and he picked me up and he

he just came and he picked me up and he rocked me he rocked me until I was able

rocked me he rocked me until I was able

rocked me he rocked me until I was able to breathe more normally and I told him

to breathe more normally and I told him

to breathe more normally and I told him what I was experiencing as I bled and

what I was experiencing as I bled and

what I was experiencing as I bled and drooled and cried on him and he just

drooled and cried on him and he just

drooled and cried on him and he just listened and he held me close until I

listened and he held me close until I

listened and he held me close until I was able to calm down this moment

was able to calm down this moment

was able to calm down this moment happened two years ago but I will

happened two years ago but I will

happened two years ago but I will cherish it and remember it forever

cherish it and remember it forever

cherish it and remember it forever because I helped me to realize the

because I helped me to realize the

because I helped me to realize the powerful impact that human interaction

powerful impact that human interaction

powerful impact that human interaction has on mental well-being

it was his care that I initially led me

it was his care that I initially led me to want to get better and sometimes I

to want to get better and sometimes I

to want to get better and sometimes I feel as though I owe him my life for

feel as though I owe him my life for

feel as though I owe him my life for that moment I had definitely considered

that moment I had definitely considered

that moment I had definitely considered suicide and had an even half attempted

suicide and had an even half attempted

suicide and had an even half attempted up the act at that time sometimes I

up the act at that time sometimes I

up the act at that time sometimes I believe that we as a human race don’t

believe that we as a human race don’t

believe that we as a human race don’t understand the power of human connection

understand the power of human connection

understand the power of human connection in the purpose that relationships gives

in the purpose that relationships gives

in the purpose that relationships gives to our lives nearly all web articles I

to our lives nearly all web articles I

to our lives nearly all web articles I find mentioned therapy medication

find mentioned therapy medication

find mentioned therapy medication exercise and sleep under the section of

exercise and sleep under the section of

exercise and sleep under the section of dealing with depression all these

dealing with depression all these

dealing with depression all these strategies work health is more fully

strategies work health is more fully

strategies work health is more fully reached by a fifth fundamental aid human

reached by a fifth fundamental aid human

reached by a fifth fundamental aid human connection dr. Matt her in Stine an

connection dr. Matt her in Stine an

connection dr. Matt her in Stine an experimental psychologist at DePauw

experimental psychologist at DePauw

experimental psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana states that

University in Indiana states that

University in Indiana states that behaviors associated with close

behaviors associated with close

behaviors associated with close relationships such as hand-holding and

relationships such as hand-holding and

relationships such as hand-holding and hugging contribute to a lower a lowering

hugging contribute to a lower a lowering

hugging contribute to a lower a lowering in the amounts of cortisol in the brain

in the amounts of cortisol in the brain

in the amounts of cortisol in the brain cortisol is a very hormone whose

cortisol is a very hormone whose

cortisol is a very hormone whose overproduction is speculated to cause

overproduction is speculated to cause

overproduction is speculated to cause depression the same doctor discovered

depression the same doctor discovered

depression the same doctor discovered that having this friendly touch just

that having this friendly touch just

that having this friendly touch just some simply someone touching an arm and

some simply someone touching an arm and

some simply someone touching an arm and holding it buffers the physiological

holding it buffers the physiological

holding it buffers the physiological consequences of this response my fellow

consequences of this response my fellow

consequences of this response my fellow peers isolating yourself from people who

peers isolating yourself from people who

peers isolating yourself from people who want to help you is simply not sensible

want to help you is simply not sensible

want to help you is simply not sensible do not let this insidious disease

do not let this insidious disease

do not let this insidious disease convince you that you deserve to be

convince you that you deserve to be

convince you that you deserve to be alone that you are not worth the effort

alone that you are not worth the effort

alone that you are not worth the effort or that life is not worth living if you

or that life is not worth living if you

or that life is not worth living if you let it depression will keep you from

let it depression will keep you from

let it depression will keep you from keep from reaching your potential and

keep from reaching your potential and

keep from reaching your potential and from leading a happy life when you are

from leading a happy life when you are

from leading a happy life when you are feeling down for no reason do not be

feeling down for no reason do not be

feeling down for no reason do not be afraid to reach out

afraid to reach out

afraid to reach out know that you have potential and hope

know that you have potential and hope

know that you have potential and hope and let the good people in your life

and let the good people in your life

and let the good people in your life convince you of that often developing

convince you of that often developing

convince you of that often developing close relationships alone is not what

close relationships alone is not what

close relationships alone is not what will heal you but this fifth fundamental

will heal you but this fifth fundamental

will heal you but this fifth fundamental aid will help you to drive you to

aid will help you to drive you to

aid will help you to drive you to practice the first four other aids human

practice the first four other aids human

practice the first four other aids human connection is what will seize you thank

connection is what will seize you thank

connection is what will seize you thank you

you

you [Applause]

”

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