Life can be tough. Music can help | Cam | TEDxUniversityofNevada

got my Britney Spears mic finally life

got my Britney Spears mic finally life and be tough music can help okay close

and be tough music can help okay close

and be tough music can help okay close your eyes

your eyes

your eyes for reals close your eyes imagine you’re

for reals close your eyes imagine you’re

for reals close your eyes imagine you’re in a classroom and your teacher says get

in a classroom and your teacher says get

in a classroom and your teacher says get out a blank piece of paper and a pencil

out a blank piece of paper and a pencil

out a blank piece of paper and a pencil and you’re gonna do a 15-second exercise

and you’re gonna do a 15-second exercise

and you’re gonna do a 15-second exercise but remember don’t think you ready draw

but remember don’t think you ready draw

but remember don’t think you ready draw your soul okay you can open your eyes

your soul okay you can open your eyes

your soul okay you can open your eyes this is a story that I loved from a book

this is a story that I loved from a book

this is a story that I loved from a book I read an elementary school called walk

I read an elementary school called walk

I read an elementary school called walk to moons in the story the kids look

to moons in the story the kids look

to moons in the story the kids look blankly at the page freaking out

blankly at the page freaking out

blankly at the page freaking out figuring out what is my soul look like

figuring out what is my soul look like

figuring out what is my soul look like and then furiously scribble and when

and then furiously scribble and when

and then furiously scribble and when they come back from recess they realize

they come back from recess they realize

they come back from recess they realize the teacher has put all the drawings up

the teacher has put all the drawings up

the teacher has put all the drawings up on the wall and the main character sees

on the wall and the main character sees

on the wall and the main character sees there’s all different kinds of symbols

there’s all different kinds of symbols

there’s all different kinds of symbols and images and then she sees one of the

and images and then she sees one of the

and images and then she sees one of the drawings looks exactly like hers a

drawings looks exactly like hers a

drawings looks exactly like hers a circle with a maple leaf inside there’s

circle with a maple leaf inside there’s

circle with a maple leaf inside there’s so me

so me

so me this totally fascinated me because I had

this totally fascinated me because I had

this totally fascinated me because I had created countless imaginary worlds with

created countless imaginary worlds with

created countless imaginary worlds with my sister growing up but this totally

my sister growing up but this totally

my sister growing up but this totally took the cake the fact that inside each

took the cake the fact that inside each

took the cake the fact that inside each of us is an invisible world this must be

of us is an invisible world this must be

of us is an invisible world this must be where dreams and thoughts and feelings

where dreams and thoughts and feelings

where dreams and thoughts and feelings who you are that can’t be explained by

who you are that can’t be explained by

who you are that can’t be explained by biology or environment your

biology or environment your

biology or environment your consciousness safe to say this is kind

consciousness safe to say this is kind

consciousness safe to say this is kind of what started me on my journey for the

of what started me on my journey for the

of what started me on my journey for the rest of my life to figure out what the

rest of my life to figure out what the

rest of my life to figure out what the hell is going on inside so I got a

hell is going on inside so I got a

hell is going on inside so I got a psychology degree and I actually worked

psychology degree and I actually worked

psychology degree and I actually worked in psychology research labs at Berkeley

in psychology research labs at Berkeley

in psychology research labs at Berkeley and Stanford but honestly I didn’t

and Stanford but honestly I didn’t

and Stanford but honestly I didn’t realize until very recently that my

realize until very recently that my

realize until very recently that my obsession with this inner world is vey

obsession with this inner world is vey

obsession with this inner world is vey very related to music which is what I do

very related to music which is what I do

very related to music which is what I do now

now

now music is the original human tool to help

music is the original human tool to help

music is the original human tool to help soothe our soul did you know music has

soothe our soul did you know music has

soothe our soul did you know music has been in every single culture throughout

been in every single culture throughout

been in every single culture throughout history every single one they found

history every single one they found

history every single one they found early modern man they found a bone flute

early modern man they found a bone flute

early modern man they found a bone flute that was carved in the same pentatonic

that was carved in the same pentatonic

that was carved in the same pentatonic scale that we use today we’re talking

scale that we use today we’re talking

scale that we use today we’re talking Ice Age when your main concern should

Ice Age when your main concern should

Ice Age when your main concern should probably be don’t get eaten by a

probably be don’t get eaten by a

probably be don’t get eaten by a saber-toothed tiger but they were

saber-toothed tiger but they were

saber-toothed tiger but they were playing music and they say evolutionary

playing music and they say evolutionary

playing music and they say evolutionary wise something that exists in all these

wise something that exists in all these

wise something that exists in all these cultures and across all people something

cultures and across all people something

cultures and across all people something that Universal must help humans survive

that Universal must help humans survive

that Universal must help humans survive so what is it about music it helps us

so what is it about music it helps us

so what is it about music it helps us survive there’s a lot of theories

survive there’s a lot of theories

survive there’s a lot of theories because music does a lot of really cool

because music does a lot of really cool

because music does a lot of really cool stuff for us like it enhances learning

stuff for us like it enhances learning

stuff for us like it enhances learning it improves your memory it helps with

it improves your memory it helps with

it improves your memory it helps with insomnia I could go on for a while

insomnia I could go on for a while

insomnia I could go on for a while because music lights up all different

because music lights up all different

because music lights up all different parts of your brain but I really want to

parts of your brain but I really want to

parts of your brain but I really want to focus on one new line of study that says

focus on one new line of study that says

focus on one new line of study that says from the beginning of human culture

from the beginning of human culture

from the beginning of human culture music has developed separately from

music has developed separately from

music has developed separately from language to help us deal with life the

language to help us deal with life the

language to help us deal with life the guy who studied all this is named Leonid

guy who studied all this is named Leonid

guy who studied all this is named Leonid parofsky

parofsky

parofsky he says while language splits the world

he says while language splits the world

he says while language splits the world into detailed distinct pieces

into detailed distinct pieces

into detailed distinct pieces music unifies the world into a whole and

music unifies the world into a whole and

music unifies the world into a whole and our psyche requires both so what do I

our psyche requires both so what do I

our psyche requires both so what do I mean by helps us deal with life well

mean by helps us deal with life well

mean by helps us deal with life well every day we go out and information from

every day we go out and information from

every day we go out and information from the outside world comes in through our

the outside world comes in through our

the outside world comes in through our perception and into our inner world and

perception and into our inner world and

perception and into our inner world and sometimes it matches our ideas and our

sometimes it matches our ideas and our

sometimes it matches our ideas and our values and our knowledge and sometimes

values and our knowledge and sometimes

values and our knowledge and sometimes it doesn’t and when these two competing

it doesn’t and when these two competing

it doesn’t and when these two competing conflicting concepts are happening they

conflicting concepts are happening they

conflicting concepts are happening they kind of have like a rub an uncomfortable

kind of have like a rub an uncomfortable

kind of have like a rub an uncomfortable rub because we like things to make sense

rub because we like things to make sense

rub because we like things to make sense this is called cognitive dissonance let

this is called cognitive dissonance let

this is called cognitive dissonance let me give you an example

me give you an example

me give you an example too much science right so let’s say you

too much science right so let’s say you

too much science right so let’s say you meet someone you love them you think

meet someone you love them you think

meet someone you love them you think they’re your soulmate and then you’re

they’re your soulmate and then you’re

they’re your soulmate and then you’re getting ready to propose and they leave

getting ready to propose and they leave

getting ready to propose and they leave you this is uncomfortable not only

you this is uncomfortable not only

you this is uncomfortable not only emotionally but because you have the

emotionally but because you have the

emotionally but because you have the idea that they are your soulmate and

idea that they are your soulmate and

idea that they are your soulmate and then the reality that they just left so

then the reality that they just left so

then the reality that they just left so to deal with this uncomfortableness

to deal with this uncomfortableness

to deal with this uncomfortableness people usually do one of two things you

people usually do one of two things you

people usually do one of two things you can reject the new information like they

can reject the new information like they

can reject the new information like they didn’t leave they’re going to come back

didn’t leave they’re going to come back

didn’t leave they’re going to come back or you could suppress the old concept I

or you could suppress the old concept I

or you could suppress the old concept I never thought they were my soulmate if

never thought they were my soulmate if

never thought they were my soulmate if we could sit with this uncomfortable

we could sit with this uncomfortable

we could sit with this uncomfortable feeling we could face it and we could

feeling we could face it and we could

feeling we could face it and we could maybe make the tweak and adjust our

maybe make the tweak and adjust our

maybe make the tweak and adjust our inner world to accommodate both maybe we

inner world to accommodate both maybe we

inner world to accommodate both maybe we didn’t give ourselves enough time to

didn’t give ourselves enough time to

didn’t give ourselves enough time to really know that person and then we can

really know that person and then we can

really know that person and then we can evolve and next time we find someone we

evolve and next time we find someone we

evolve and next time we find someone we love we can spend a little more time

love we can spend a little more time

love we can spend a little more time checking off boxes before we buy a ring

checking off boxes before we buy a ring

checking off boxes before we buy a ring so we’re just music fit right music

so we’re just music fit right music

so we’re just music fit right music soothes that uncomfortable feeling so we

soothes that uncomfortable feeling so we

soothes that uncomfortable feeling so we can focus on making better decisions so

can focus on making better decisions so

can focus on making better decisions so we can adjust and evolve the example is

we can adjust and evolve the example is

we can adjust and evolve the example is there’s a study where they play music

there’s a study where they play music

there’s a study where they play music while kids are working on really

while kids are working on really

while kids are working on really difficult math problems and as you all

difficult math problems and as you all

difficult math problems and as you all know probably if you can imagine

know probably if you can imagine

know probably if you can imagine yourselves back working on a math

yourselves back working on a math

yourselves back working on a math problem it’s the worst place you can be

problem it’s the worst place you can be

problem it’s the worst place you can be and the kids that are working on the

and the kids that are working on the

and the kids that are working on the difficult math problem that have music

difficult math problem that have music

difficult math problem that have music playing will spend more time on it and

playing will spend more time on it and

playing will spend more time on it and that’s why they’ll end up with better

that’s why they’ll end up with better

that’s why they’ll end up with better scores kids that don’t have music

scores kids that don’t have music

scores kids that don’t have music playing get frustrated and move on

playing get frustrated and move on

playing get frustrated and move on faster so music has always helped soothe

faster so music has always helped soothe

faster so music has always helped soothe the uncomfortable feelings in me for

the uncomfortable feelings in me for

the uncomfortable feelings in me for example when I was little and I was

example when I was little and I was

example when I was little and I was afraid to go to the bathroom in the

afraid to go to the bathroom in the

afraid to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night there was like a

middle of the night there was like a

middle of the night there was like a real long dark hallway don’t judge you

real long dark hallway don’t judge you

real long dark hallway don’t judge you all did this I know this

all did this I know this

all did this I know this I would sing to myself because that way

I would sing to myself because that way

I would sing to myself because that way I had my own music going and I could be

I had my own music going and I could be

I had my own music going and I could be afraid but also get to the bathroom

afraid but also get to the bathroom

afraid but also get to the bathroom in my song burning house that I wrote I

in my song burning house that I wrote I

in my song burning house that I wrote I had a similar set of conflicting

had a similar set of conflicting

had a similar set of conflicting concepts I believe that I’m a good

concepts I believe that I’m a good

concepts I believe that I’m a good person I like to think that but looking

person I like to think that but looking

person I like to think that but looking back on an old relationship of mine I

back on an old relationship of mine I

back on an old relationship of mine I treated someone that I loved very poorly

treated someone that I loved very poorly

treated someone that I loved very poorly I was a jerk

I was a jerk

I was a jerk and facing that made me very ashamed and

and facing that made me very ashamed and

and facing that made me very ashamed and embarrassed but in writing that song and

embarrassed but in writing that song and

embarrassed but in writing that song and singing that song I got to acknowledge

singing that song I got to acknowledge

singing that song I got to acknowledge and accept the fact that I can be a good

and accept the fact that I can be a good

and accept the fact that I can be a good person now and I still can’t fix what I

person now and I still can’t fix what I

person now and I still can’t fix what I did back then so when I sing these

did back then so when I sing these

did back then so when I sing these vulnerable songs on stage in front of

vulnerable songs on stage in front of

vulnerable songs on stage in front of people the coolest thing happens people

people the coolest thing happens people

people the coolest thing happens people feel the urge to tell me their own

feel the urge to tell me their own

feel the urge to tell me their own personal struggles so people will come

personal struggles so people will come

personal struggles so people will come up to me every show lots of people and

up to me every show lots of people and

up to me every show lots of people and tell me their marriage is on the rocks

tell me their marriage is on the rocks

tell me their marriage is on the rocks they’re battling a terminal illness they

they’re battling a terminal illness they

they’re battling a terminal illness they love someone with an addiction that

love someone with an addiction that

love someone with an addiction that probably they’re not going to get out of

probably they’re not going to get out of

probably they’re not going to get out of really difficult things to face and

really difficult things to face and

really difficult things to face and their stories might not be exactly like

their stories might not be exactly like

their stories might not be exactly like mine but I know they’re feeling the same

mine but I know they’re feeling the same

mine but I know they’re feeling the same underlying complex emotion at first it

underlying complex emotion at first it

underlying complex emotion at first it made me nervous because I felt like

made me nervous because I felt like

made me nervous because I felt like maybe they were coming to me for answers

maybe they were coming to me for answers

maybe they were coming to me for answers and I can definitely tell you I don’t

and I can definitely tell you I don’t

and I can definitely tell you I don’t have the answers but I realized in times

have the answers but I realized in times

have the answers but I realized in times when I didn’t know what to say I would

when I didn’t know what to say I would

when I didn’t know what to say I would just give them a hug and in those hugs I

just give them a hug and in those hugs I

just give them a hug and in those hugs I really got it they weren’t telling me

really got it they weren’t telling me

really got it they weren’t telling me these stories for their benefit they

these stories for their benefit they

these stories for their benefit they were telling me these stories for my

were telling me these stories for my

were telling me these stories for my benefit those stories healed me and this

benefit those stories healed me and this

benefit those stories healed me and this is what’s my favorite part about music

is what’s my favorite part about music

is what’s my favorite part about music the sharing of me being vulnerable and

the sharing of me being vulnerable and

the sharing of me being vulnerable and saying these stories and them giving

saying these stories and them giving

saying these stories and them giving these stories back to me it makes us

these stories back to me it makes us

these stories back to me it makes us realize we are not struggling alone we

realize we are not struggling alone we

realize we are not struggling alone we are not struggling

are not struggling

are not struggling alone let me say it one more time we are

alone let me say it one more time we are

alone let me say it one more time we are not struggling alone we’re no longer

not struggling alone we’re no longer

not struggling alone we’re no longer strangers we’re kindred spirits and I

strangers we’re kindred spirits and I

strangers we’re kindred spirits and I like to think that a part of their soul

like to think that a part of their soul

like to think that a part of their soul drying might look like a part of my soul

drying might look like a part of my soul

drying might look like a part of my soul drawing this new connection motivated me

drawing this new connection motivated me

drawing this new connection motivated me and continues to motivate me to keep

and continues to motivate me to keep

and continues to motivate me to keep doing me and keep being me I really want

doing me and keep being me I really want

doing me and keep being me I really want to share one of these stories with you

to share one of these stories with you

to share one of these stories with you that someone sent to me I want to read

that someone sent to me I want to read

that someone sent to me I want to read it word for word because it’s really

it word for word because it’s really

it word for word because it’s really beautiful it reference to the song

beautiful it reference to the song

beautiful it reference to the song called village that I wrote for my

called village that I wrote for my

called village that I wrote for my friend who lost her brother I just

friend who lost her brother I just

friend who lost her brother I just wanted to say a quick thank you for the

wanted to say a quick thank you for the

wanted to say a quick thank you for the song village a post I have made on

song village a post I have made on

song village a post I have made on Facebook a year ago popped up as a

Facebook a year ago popped up as a

Facebook a year ago popped up as a memory today I’d lost my brother almost

memory today I’d lost my brother almost

memory today I’d lost my brother almost six months ago to the day and this song

six months ago to the day and this song

six months ago to the day and this song hit me hard

hit me hard

hit me hard my son Collin then six years old

my son Collin then six years old

my son Collin then six years old has autism and is nonverbal so if you

has autism and is nonverbal so if you

has autism and is nonverbal so if you can imagine communication with him isn’t

can imagine communication with him isn’t

can imagine communication with him isn’t easy

easy

easy he saw me crying as I listen to the song

he saw me crying as I listen to the song

he saw me crying as I listen to the song and we had this incredible moment of

and we had this incredible moment of

and we had this incredible moment of connection

connection

connection he was empathic to my emotion and he

he was empathic to my emotion and he

he was empathic to my emotion and he seemed to completely understand my

seemed to completely understand my

seemed to completely understand my brother was a BASE jumper and Collin

brother was a BASE jumper and Collin

brother was a BASE jumper and Collin always identified him as flaw he found

always identified him as flaw he found

always identified him as flaw he found videos of him fascinating in this moment

videos of him fascinating in this moment

videos of him fascinating in this moment a year ago he climbed up on my lap and

a year ago he climbed up on my lap and

a year ago he climbed up on my lap and embraced me in a hug when the song

embraced me in a hug when the song

embraced me in a hug when the song finished he pulled back grabbed my cheek

finished he pulled back grabbed my cheek

finished he pulled back grabbed my cheek so I was looking right at him and he

so I was looking right at him and he

so I was looking right at him and he said dry fly then he put his head back

said dry fly then he put his head back

said dry fly then he put his head back on my shoulder and continued to hug me

on my shoulder and continued to hug me

on my shoulder and continued to hug me it was a moment with my son that I will

it was a moment with my son that I will

it was a moment with my son that I will never forget she included a photo of her

never forget she included a photo of her

never forget she included a photo of her son and her in this message she sent to

son and her in this message she sent to

son and her in this message she sent to me that I want to show you guys so music

me that I want to show you guys so music

me that I want to show you guys so music can help a nonverbal kid communicate

can help a nonverbal kid communicate

can help a nonverbal kid communicate with his mom can help us soothe our

with his mom can help us soothe our

with his mom can help us soothe our souls can help us evolve our inner

souls can help us evolve our inner

souls can help us evolve our inner selves can make friends out of strangers

selves can make friends out of strangers

selves can make friends out of strangers are you getting the most you can out of

are you getting the most you can out of

are you getting the most you can out of music I really want to remind you that

music I really want to remind you that

music I really want to remind you that music is not just the background at a

music is not just the background at a

music is not just the background at a shopping mall it’s not just a week

shopping mall it’s not just a week

shopping mall it’s not just a week and entertainment it’s a tool that our

and entertainment it’s a tool that our

and entertainment it’s a tool that our species developed to help us heal

species developed to help us heal

species developed to help us heal ourselves and soothe our souls music

ourselves and soothe our souls music

ourselves and soothe our souls music carries the burden of our heartbreak it

carries the burden of our heartbreak it

carries the burden of our heartbreak it allows us to process grief it reminds us

allows us to process grief it reminds us

allows us to process grief it reminds us that good things are coming and it lets

that good things are coming and it lets

that good things are coming and it lets us know that we are not struggling alone

us know that we are not struggling alone

us know that we are not struggling alone so let music do its job life can be

so let music do its job life can be

so let music do its job life can be tough music can help

tough music can help

tough music can help [Applause]