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Peace Inside/Out | Valerie Mrak | TEDxValparaisoUniversity


as a documentary filmmaker I had the

as a documentary filmmaker I had the profound privilege of twice interviewing

profound privilege of twice interviewing

profound privilege of twice interviewing his holiness the dalai lama and a couple

his holiness the dalai lama and a couple

his holiness the dalai lama and a couple of things that he said to me have really

of things that he said to me have really

of things that he said to me have really stuck with me one of them is when you

stuck with me one of them is when you

stuck with me one of them is when you give in to anger you lose your

give in to anger you lose your

give in to anger you lose your intelligence and then the second thing

intelligence and then the second thing

intelligence and then the second thing is we tend to put peace into different

is we tend to put peace into different

is we tend to put peace into different frameworks peace toward animals peace

frameworks peace toward animals peace

frameworks peace toward animals peace toward the environment p stored fellow

toward the environment p stored fellow

toward the environment p stored fellow man and all of that is external peace

man and all of that is external peace

man and all of that is external peace and before we can have external peace we

and before we can have external peace we

and before we can have external peace we must have a zone of peace in our hearts

must have a zone of peace in our hearts

must have a zone of peace in our hearts that really struck me I was very angry

that really struck me I was very angry

that really struck me I was very angry at that time no zone of peace in this

at that time no zone of peace in this

at that time no zone of peace in this heart I was having problems in my

heart I was having problems in my

heart I was having problems in my marriage I was warring with a neighbor

marriage I was warring with a neighbor

marriage I was warring with a neighbor and I was convinced that a business

and I was convinced that a business

and I was convinced that a business associate was taking advantage of me and

associate was taking advantage of me and

associate was taking advantage of me and I realized that I was the common

I realized that I was the common

I realized that I was the common denominator of all that anger so I went

denominator of all that anger so I went

denominator of all that anger so I went on a quest to find out what a song of

on a quest to find out what a song of

on a quest to find out what a song of peace might mean for me and being a good

peace might mean for me and being a good

peace might mean for me and being a good westerner of course I sought out

westerner of course I sought out

westerner of course I sought out external resources first other people’s

external resources first other people’s

external resources first other people’s role models piece landmarks around the

role models piece landmarks around the

role models piece landmarks around the world and the internet what I found out

world and the internet what I found out

world and the internet what I found out was this people generally have

was this people generally have

was this people generally have historical role models for peace Mahatma

historical role models for peace Mahatma

historical role models for peace Mahatma Gandhi Martin Luther King Mother Teresa

Gandhi Martin Luther King Mother Teresa

Gandhi Martin Luther King Mother Teresa not people in their actual lives and

not people in their actual lives and

not people in their actual lives and peace landmarks around the world are

peace landmarks around the world are

peace landmarks around the world are really memorials to dead soldiers and

really memorials to dead soldiers and

really memorials to dead soldiers and great battle strategists they really

great battle strategists they really

great battle strategists they really teach us nothing about peace and we have

teach us nothing about peace and we have

teach us nothing about peace and we have no great overarching universal idea of

no great overarching universal idea of

no great overarching universal idea of what peace is or how to create it it’s

what peace is or how to create it it’s

what peace is or how to create it it’s abstract it’s out there

abstract it’s out there

abstract it’s out there it’s in here it’s when we don’t fight

it’s in here it’s when we don’t fight

it’s in here it’s when we don’t fight it’s how I feel when I’m watching the

it’s how I feel when I’m watching the

it’s how I feel when I’m watching the sunset everyone asked me to please come

sunset everyone asked me to please come

sunset everyone asked me to please come back and let them know what I had

back and let them know what I had

back and let them know what I had learned as I was going on this quest it

learned as I was going on this quest it

learned as I was going on this quest it seems like all of us as human beings

seems like all of us as human beings

seems like all of us as human beings want to know that zone of peace in our

want to know that zone of peace in our

want to know that zone of peace in our hearts so in my research I found some

hearts so in my research I found some

hearts so in my research I found some Nobel laureates from different countries

Nobel laureates from different countries

Nobel laureates from different countries who were average citizens at the time

who were average citizens at the time

who were average citizens at the time they stood up for peace in their area of

they stood up for peace in their area of

they stood up for peace in their area of conflict a secretary a waitress an

conflict a secretary a waitress an

conflict a secretary a waitress an attorney a professor and a homemaker

attorney a professor and a homemaker

attorney a professor and a homemaker these were individuals that actually

these were individuals that actually

these were individuals that actually mitigated violence that was inflicted on

mitigated violence that was inflicted on

mitigated violence that was inflicted on them in their communities and I

them in their communities and I

them in their communities and I interviewed former violent offenders

interviewed former violent offenders

interviewed former violent offenders former gang leaders who would come back

former gang leaders who would come back

former gang leaders who would come back to their neighborhood in Chicago these

to their neighborhood in Chicago these

to their neighborhood in Chicago these individuals had perpetrated violence on

individuals had perpetrated violence on

individuals had perpetrated violence on individuals in their communities and

individuals in their communities and

individuals in their communities and amazingly what they had to say about

amazingly what they had to say about

amazingly what they had to say about peace mirrored each other I came to

peace mirrored each other I came to

peace mirrored each other I came to understand peace not as something out

understand peace not as something out

understand peace not as something out there or even a state of mind or being

there or even a state of mind or being

there or even a state of mind or being rather it is a skill we can all learn

rather it is a skill we can all learn

rather it is a skill we can all learn and it is a created at that we do now

and it is a created at that we do now

and it is a created at that we do now and now and now in every moment and that

and now and now in every moment and that

and now and now in every moment and that led me to take a look at conflict our

led me to take a look at conflict our

led me to take a look at conflict our peace and Conflict opposites peace good

peace and Conflict opposites peace good

peace and Conflict opposites peace good conflict bad we tend two feet to think

conflict bad we tend two feet to think

conflict bad we tend two feet to think of conflict as leading to hatred

of conflict as leading to hatred

of conflict as leading to hatred violence and retaliation but isn’t it

violence and retaliation but isn’t it

violence and retaliation but isn’t it actually a reaction to conflict that

actually a reaction to conflict that

actually a reaction to conflict that leads to hatred retaliation and violence

leads to hatred retaliation and violence

leads to hatred retaliation and violence we look at conflict in polarity good bad

we look at conflict in polarity good bad

we look at conflict in polarity good bad win-lose right wrong and how many of us

win-lose right wrong and how many of us

win-lose right wrong and how many of us really hate to concede something in a

really hate to concede something in a

really hate to concede something in a conflict because we’ll be considered the

conflict because we’ll be considered the

conflict because we’ll be considered the loser there is another definition of the

loser there is another definition of the

loser there is another definition of the word concede though and that is granting

word concede though and that is granting

word concede though and that is granting validity what does that mean to grant

validity what does that mean to grant

validity what does that mean to grant validity well it means that we honor

validity well it means that we honor

validity well it means that we honor someone else’s perspective not as the

someone else’s perspective not as the

someone else’s perspective not as the right one not as a better one although

right one not as a better one although

right one not as a better one although it might be a more workable one but we

it might be a more workable one but we

it might be a more workable one but we accept it as a legitimate point of view

accept it as a legitimate point of view

accept it as a legitimate point of view for that person let’s do a little

for that person let’s do a little

for that person let’s do a little experiment imagine that you’re holding

experiment imagine that you’re holding

experiment imagine that you’re holding in your hand a flexible metal everyday

in your hand a flexible metal everyday

in your hand a flexible metal everyday paperclip it’s designed to hold two or

paperclip it’s designed to hold two or

paperclip it’s designed to hold two or more pieces of paper together right okay

more pieces of paper together right okay

more pieces of paper together right okay and if you didn’t know that that’s what

and if you didn’t know that that’s what

and if you didn’t know that that’s what this flexible piece of metal was what

this flexible piece of metal was what

this flexible piece of metal was what could it be it’s really interesting to

could it be it’s really interesting to

could it be it’s really interesting to watch people change except even delight

watch people change except even delight

watch people change except even delight in perspectives of other people of what

in perspectives of other people of what

in perspectives of other people of what this metal could be my personal favorite

this metal could be my personal favorite

this metal could be my personal favorite is a photo stand currency it can be

is a photo stand currency it can be

is a photo stand currency it can be traded for something and a coffee

traded for something and a coffee

traded for something and a coffee stirrer

the nobles universally said dialogue is

the nobles universally said dialogue is key to creating peace face-to-face

key to creating peace face-to-face

key to creating peace face-to-face real-time dialogue sorry guys not

real-time dialogue sorry guys not

real-time dialogue sorry guys not snapchatting not facebooking not

snapchatting not facebooking not

snapchatting not facebooking not emailing not texting not facebooking but

emailing not texting not facebooking but

emailing not texting not facebooking but real face-to-face dialogue we must

real face-to-face dialogue we must

real face-to-face dialogue we must listen to each other and talk to one

listen to each other and talk to one

listen to each other and talk to one another and speak and listen from a

another and speak and listen from a

another and speak and listen from a generous place that allows us to create

generous place that allows us to create

generous place that allows us to create and connect with one another hand in

and connect with one another hand in

and connect with one another hand in hand with dialogue is process peace can

hand with dialogue is process peace can

hand with dialogue is process peace can occur in a single conversation but more

occur in a single conversation but more

occur in a single conversation but more often than not it takes a series of

often than not it takes a series of

often than not it takes a series of conversations those dialogues that are

conversations those dialogues that are

conversations those dialogues that are listening and speaking for possibility

listening and speaking for possibility

listening and speaking for possibility and sometimes it can be really

and sometimes it can be really

and sometimes it can be really uncomfortable to actually talk

uncomfortable to actually talk

uncomfortable to actually talk face-to-face real time with someone

face-to-face real time with someone

face-to-face real time with someone however one of the former gang leaders

however one of the former gang leaders

however one of the former gang leaders former violent offenders that I

former violent offenders that I

former violent offenders that I interviewed shared a story about

interviewed shared a story about

interviewed shared a story about something that happened in prison he was

something that happened in prison he was

something that happened in prison he was imprisoned because of gang activities he

imprisoned because of gang activities he

imprisoned because of gang activities he looked around and almost every other man

looked around and almost every other man

looked around and almost every other man in there was in there for gang

in there was in there for gang

in there was in there for gang activities and they were still warring

activities and they were still warring

activities and they were still warring with each other as gangs in the prison

with each other as gangs in the prison

with each other as gangs in the prison they had to watch their back every day

they had to watch their back every day

they had to watch their back every day but he saw something else was possible

but he saw something else was possible

but he saw something else was possible and he called representatives of the

and he called representatives of the

and he called representatives of the gangs together and he said look I think

gangs together and he said look I think

gangs together and he said look I think we have more in common than we have

we have more in common than we have

we have more in common than we have differences let’s call a truce and let

differences let’s call a truce and let

differences let’s call a truce and let create peace to a man they walked away

create peace to a man they walked away

create peace to a man they walked away from him and Max thought I’m going to

from him and Max thought I’m going to

from him and Max thought I’m going to have to watch my back even more

have to watch my back even more

have to watch my back even more carefully now but over the next few days

carefully now but over the next few days

carefully now but over the next few days individuals walked up to him and said

individuals walked up to him and said

individuals walked up to him and said tell me more and a coalition was born

tell me more and a coalition was born

tell me more and a coalition was born and a movement started and peace was

and a movement started and peace was

and a movement started and peace was actually brought to the prison and when

actually brought to the prison and when

actually brought to the prison and when those guys got out and went back to

those guys got out and went back to

those guys got out and went back to their neighborhoods they took that

their neighborhoods they took that

their neighborhoods they took that knowledge with them that started with

knowledge with them that started with

knowledge with them that started with max speaking and listening in to what he

max speaking and listening in to what he

max speaking and listening in to what he felt was possible Betty Williams Nobel

felt was possible Betty Williams Nobel

felt was possible Betty Williams Nobel laureate from Northern Ireland she was a

laureate from Northern Ireland she was a

laureate from Northern Ireland she was a waitress at the time she stood up for

waitress at the time she stood up for

waitress at the time she stood up for peace in the troubles in Northern

peace in the troubles in Northern

peace in the troubles in Northern Ireland and she says every morning she

Ireland and she says every morning she

Ireland and she says every morning she wakes up and by golly there’s something

wakes up and by golly there’s something

wakes up and by golly there’s something to be angry about and she says we have

to be angry about and she says we have

to be angry about and she says we have to make our own selves responsible for

to make our own selves responsible for

to make our own selves responsible for doing the work that pulls us away from

doing the work that pulls us away from

doing the work that pulls us away from that anger and she puts herself number

that anger and she puts herself number

that anger and she puts herself number one on that list it the individual

one on that list it the individual

one on that list it the individual responsibility takes courage to say I’m

responsibility takes courage to say I’m

responsibility takes courage to say I’m the one it starts with me and individual

the one it starts with me and individual

the one it starts with me and individual responsibility takes commitment and it’s

responsibility takes commitment and it’s

responsibility takes commitment and it’s made a profound difference in my

made a profound difference in my

made a profound difference in my marriage with that neighbor and with my

marriage with that neighbor and with my

marriage with that neighbor and with my business associates I’ve seen the

business associates I’ve seen the

business associates I’ve seen the dynamic between weary individuals change

dynamic between weary individuals change

dynamic between weary individuals change in an instant with these lessons of

in an instant with these lessons of

in an instant with these lessons of peace between an Israeli airport guard

peace between an Israeli airport guard

peace between an Israeli airport guard and a palestinian-american traveler

and a palestinian-american traveler

and a palestinian-american traveler between two youth from different gangs

between two youth from different gangs

between two youth from different gangs on a Chicago street corner and between a

on a Chicago street corner and between a

on a Chicago street corner and between a brother and a sister

brother and a sister

brother and a sister who hadn’t spoken with each other in

who hadn’t spoken with each other in

who hadn’t spoken with each other in years it is possible for conflict to

years it is possible for conflict to

years it is possible for conflict to create a creative to have a creative

create a creative to have a creative

create a creative to have a creative space for peace to arise peace is a

space for peace to arise peace is a

space for peace to arise peace is a skill we can all learn it takes granting

skill we can all learn it takes granting

skill we can all learn it takes granting validity it is a created at now and now

validity it is a created at now and now

validity it is a created at now and now and now dialogue is key it is a process

and now dialogue is key it is a process

and now dialogue is key it is a process and it starts with me if we can practice

and it starts with me if we can practice

and it starts with me if we can practice this with the people in our lives we

this with the people in our lives we

this with the people in our lives we have the hope of building that capacity

have the hope of building that capacity

have the hope of building that capacity throughout the world

”

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