[Music] California land of sunshine seas oceans
California land of sunshine seas oceans
California land of sunshine seas oceans Hollywood Beverly Hills those beautiful
Hollywood Beverly Hills those beautiful
Hollywood Beverly Hills those beautiful people in their sports cars you know the
people in their sports cars you know the
people in their sports cars you know the convertibles driving down the highway
convertibles driving down the highway
convertibles driving down the highway they’re thriving they’re living
they’re thriving they’re living
they’re thriving they’re living wonderful lives they’re lucky I wasn’t
wonderful lives they’re lucky I wasn’t
wonderful lives they’re lucky I wasn’t so lucky
so lucky
so lucky I didn’t grow up on that side of that
I didn’t grow up on that side of that
I didn’t grow up on that side of that hill I grew up in a little different
hill I grew up in a little different
hill I grew up in a little different neighborhood it’s a little tough where I
neighborhood it’s a little tough where I
neighborhood it’s a little tough where I grew up got bullied a lot we would grew
grew up got bullied a lot we would grew
grew up got bullied a lot we would grew up in poverty I started using drugs at
up in poverty I started using drugs at
up in poverty I started using drugs at 11 years old
11 years old
11 years old that’s how tough it was over there abuse
that’s how tough it was over there abuse
that’s how tough it was over there abuse neglect and then my little brother
neglect and then my little brother
neglect and then my little brother committed suicide and I thought you just
committed suicide and I thought you just
committed suicide and I thought you just can’t get any more unlucky than that
can’t get any more unlucky than that
can’t get any more unlucky than that I’ve broken it you know there’s no
I’ve broken it you know there’s no
I’ve broken it you know there’s no chance for me so I gave up and I just
chance for me so I gave up and I just
chance for me so I gave up and I just kind of invested myself in drug use
kind of invested myself in drug use
kind of invested myself in drug use figured well funs gonna be broken I
figured well funs gonna be broken I
figured well funs gonna be broken I might as well really be broken steel my
might as well really be broken steel my
might as well really be broken steel my little moments of pleasure wherever I
little moments of pleasure wherever I
little moments of pleasure wherever I could see that’s a victim mentality you
could see that’s a victim mentality you
could see that’s a victim mentality you get into that victim mentality and you
get into that victim mentality and you
get into that victim mentality and you start doing bad things to yourself just
start doing bad things to yourself just
start doing bad things to yourself just to get by just to survive just to get to
to get by just to survive just to get to
to get by just to survive just to get to the next day it culminated at about age
the next day it culminated at about age
the next day it culminated at about age 22 and I woke up one morning looking at
22 and I woke up one morning looking at
22 and I woke up one morning looking at my hands and I could swear that I did
my hands and I could swear that I did
my hands and I could swear that I did enough drugs that I was dissolving the
enough drugs that I was dissolving the
enough drugs that I was dissolving the molecular bonds that held me together
molecular bonds that held me together
molecular bonds that held me together I was disintegrating right before my
I was disintegrating right before my
I was disintegrating right before my very eyes now you can call that in fetta
very eyes now you can call that in fetta
very eyes now you can call that in fetta mean induced psychosis if you like but
mean induced psychosis if you like but
mean induced psychosis if you like but to me it was very real and I thought if
to me it was very real and I thought if
to me it was very real and I thought if I did one more bad thing if I did one
I did one more bad thing if I did one
I did one more bad thing if I did one more drug that’s it I’m over the edge
more drug that’s it I’m over the edge
more drug that’s it I’m over the edge I’m gonna die and I got scared but it’s
I’m gonna die and I got scared but it’s
I’m gonna die and I got scared but it’s not the kind of scared where you’re like
not the kind of scared where you’re like
not the kind of scared where you’re like really afraid afraid it was more like I
really afraid afraid it was more like I
really afraid afraid it was more like I want to live but how how to live see
want to live but how how to live see
want to live but how how to live see when you’re a victim when you’ve been
when you’re a victim when you’ve been
when you’re a victim when you’ve been hurt and you adopt that mentality you
hurt and you adopt that mentality you
hurt and you adopt that mentality you get stuck I mean really stuck
get stuck I mean really stuck
get stuck I mean really stuck get stuck in that feedback loop of doing
get stuck in that feedback loop of doing
get stuck in that feedback loop of doing the things the maladaptive behaviors
the things the maladaptive behaviors
the things the maladaptive behaviors that allow you to kind of survive but
that allow you to kind of survive but
that allow you to kind of survive but they leave you vulnerable for the next
they leave you vulnerable for the next
they leave you vulnerable for the next attack that leave you vulnerable to
attack that leave you vulnerable to
attack that leave you vulnerable to being injured hurt and victimized in
being injured hurt and victimized in
being injured hurt and victimized in distress again which requires more
distress again which requires more
distress again which requires more maladaptive behaviors for example using
maladaptive behaviors for example using
maladaptive behaviors for example using drugs to make your emotional pain go
drugs to make your emotional pain go
drugs to make your emotional pain go away leads to more problems like being
away leads to more problems like being
away leads to more problems like being arrested and being kicked out of your
arrested and being kicked out of your
arrested and being kicked out of your house and all those other fun things so
house and all those other fun things so
house and all those other fun things so the goal though is to get out of that
the goal though is to get out of that
the goal though is to get out of that mentality into the other side into
mentality into the other side into
mentality into the other side into thriving how do we do that most
thriving how do we do that most
thriving how do we do that most psychologists have a theory that they
psychologists have a theory that they
psychologists have a theory that they follow a theoretical orientation if you
follow a theoretical orientation if you
follow a theoretical orientation if you will and I’m not much of a follower I’m
will and I’m not much of a follower I’m
will and I’m not much of a follower I’m not much of a conformist and I thought
not much of a conformist and I thought
not much of a conformist and I thought to myself what if I came up with a
to myself what if I came up with a
to myself what if I came up with a theory what if I came up with an idea of
theory what if I came up with an idea of
theory what if I came up with an idea of how to live this imaginary thriving life
how to live this imaginary thriving life
how to live this imaginary thriving life to get out of that victim mentality how
to get out of that victim mentality how
to get out of that victim mentality how could I do that and I thought to myself
could I do that and I thought to myself
could I do that and I thought to myself you know what all the theories out there
you know what all the theories out there
you know what all the theories out there describe how people are broken they
describe how people are broken they
describe how people are broken they describe how people are in dysfunction
describe how people are in dysfunction
describe how people are in dysfunction and I thought well why not describe
and I thought well why not describe
and I thought well why not describe somebody who’s already healthy and maybe
somebody who’s already healthy and maybe
somebody who’s already healthy and maybe do what they do pick that imaginary
do what they do pick that imaginary
do what they do pick that imaginary healthy person and try to be kind of
healthy person and try to be kind of
healthy person and try to be kind of like them so I fought long and hard
like them so I fought long and hard
like them so I fought long and hard about it I crunched the numbers in my
about it I crunched the numbers in my
about it I crunched the numbers in my head and all the different concepts and
head and all the different concepts and
head and all the different concepts and ideas and I came up with this a thriving
ideas and I came up with this a thriving
ideas and I came up with this a thriving person a healthy person knows their core
person a healthy person knows their core
person a healthy person knows their core self they know themselves deeply at
self they know themselves deeply at
self they know themselves deeply at their very core they adapt to the
their very core they adapt to the
their very core they adapt to the ever-changing needs of their environment
ever-changing needs of their environment
ever-changing needs of their environment through skills and courage and they
through skills and courage and they
through skills and courage and they believe they can shape their future
believe they can shape their future
believe they can shape their future imagine that hope
what are we gonna do how are we gonna do
what are we gonna do how are we gonna do it how are we gonna apply that principle
Henry David Thoreau described a massive
Henry David Thoreau described a massive men leading lives of quiet desperation
men leading lives of quiet desperation
men leading lives of quiet desperation how true that was a hundred years ago
how true that was a hundred years ago
how true that was a hundred years ago and how true that is today most people
and how true that is today most people
and how true that is today most people living lives of quiet desperation
living lives of quiet desperation
living lives of quiet desperation something’s got to give something’s got
something’s got to give something’s got
something’s got to give something’s got to change I was running the LA Marathon
to change I was running the LA Marathon
to change I was running the LA Marathon in 2013 I was pretty proud of myself I’d
in 2013 I was pretty proud of myself I’d
in 2013 I was pretty proud of myself I’d kind of turned my life around a bit and
kind of turned my life around a bit and
kind of turned my life around a bit and I met this woman there wonderful woman
I met this woman there wonderful woman
I met this woman there wonderful woman had a pink shirt on and she was telling
had a pink shirt on and she was telling
had a pink shirt on and she was telling me how she was running this race in
me how she was running this race in
me how she was running this race in honor of the fact that she was now
honor of the fact that she was now
honor of the fact that she was now cancer-free for five years she was a
cancer-free for five years she was a
cancer-free for five years she was a breast cancer survivor she was very
breast cancer survivor she was very
breast cancer survivor she was very happy about that I’m a breast cancer
happy about that I’m a breast cancer
happy about that I’m a breast cancer survivor
survivor
survivor mm-hmm well that’s pretty interesting
mm-hmm well that’s pretty interesting
mm-hmm well that’s pretty interesting but you’re running a race you’re raising
but you’re running a race you’re raising
but you’re running a race you’re raising awareness you’re raising money for
awareness you’re raising money for
awareness you’re raising money for breast cancer research you’re helping
breast cancer research you’re helping
breast cancer research you’re helping other people I see the smile on your
other people I see the smile on your
other people I see the smile on your face you know what you’re not a survivor
face you know what you’re not a survivor
face you know what you’re not a survivor it should just whoa I said you’re a
it should just whoa I said you’re a
it should just whoa I said you’re a thriver and she took ownership of that I
thriver and she took ownership of that I
thriver and she took ownership of that I was pretty cool right
was pretty cool right
was pretty cool right thrivers are the kind of people that
thrivers are the kind of people that
thrivers are the kind of people that appear to others as if their personal
appear to others as if their personal
appear to others as if their personal goal is to harvest as much joy as
goal is to harvest as much joy as
goal is to harvest as much joy as possible from life wouldn’t you like to
possible from life wouldn’t you like to
possible from life wouldn’t you like to do that sounds interesting isn’t it so
do that sounds interesting isn’t it so
do that sounds interesting isn’t it so we go back to that moment or I’m sitting
we go back to that moment or I’m sitting
we go back to that moment or I’m sitting in my bedroom staring at my hands and
in my bedroom staring at my hands and
in my bedroom staring at my hands and I’m thinking something has to change
I’m thinking something has to change
I’m thinking something has to change something has got to change but I didn’t
something has got to change but I didn’t
something has got to change but I didn’t want to just live life not taking my
want to just live life not taking my
want to just live life not taking my self-soothing strategy that was
self-soothing strategy that was
self-soothing strategy that was maladaptive of choice because I felt
maladaptive of choice because I felt
maladaptive of choice because I felt like the universe was going to continue
like the universe was going to continue
like the universe was going to continue to hammer me and I wouldn’t have any
to hammer me and I wouldn’t have any
to hammer me and I wouldn’t have any protection I wouldn’t have any soothing
protection I wouldn’t have any soothing
protection I wouldn’t have any soothing so what I decided was is that I didn’t
so what I decided was is that I didn’t
so what I decided was is that I didn’t want to live a life that could handle
want to live a life that could handle
want to live a life that could handle that how was I gonna do it well to start
that how was I gonna do it well to start
that how was I gonna do it well to start with stop poisoning yourself that’s a
with stop poisoning yourself that’s a
with stop poisoning yourself that’s a good one quit riding your motorcycle
good one quit riding your motorcycle
good one quit riding your motorcycle like a maniac that was a good one quit
like a maniac that was a good one quit
like a maniac that was a good one quit hanging around with some of the people
hanging around with some of the people
hanging around with some of the people you’re hanging around with that’s pretty
you’re hanging around with that’s pretty
you’re hanging around with that’s pretty good and maybe just maybe you might be
good and maybe just maybe you might be
good and maybe just maybe you might be able to start
able to start
able to start living a life where you’re not suffering
living a life where you’re not suffering
living a life where you’re not suffering your own pain your own consequences your
your own pain your own consequences your
your own pain your own consequences your own side-effects of your own choices I
own side-effects of your own choices I
own side-effects of your own choices I felt pretty good it lasted about two
felt pretty good it lasted about two
felt pretty good it lasted about two months Steve would you like some drugs
months Steve would you like some drugs
months Steve would you like some drugs hell yes but no no no I can’t I’ve
hell yes but no no no I can’t I’ve
hell yes but no no no I can’t I’ve already made a promise to myself No
already made a promise to myself No
already made a promise to myself No thank you very much it’s tough to
thank you very much it’s tough to
thank you very much it’s tough to white-knuckle it to just barely get by
white-knuckle it to just barely get by
white-knuckle it to just barely get by and then a thought came to me a time
and then a thought came to me a time
and then a thought came to me a time where I was thriving when I was a child
where I was thriving when I was a child
where I was thriving when I was a child and I remember my little brother and I
and I remember my little brother and I
and I remember my little brother and I used to watch Bruce Lee movies on TV and
used to watch Bruce Lee movies on TV and
used to watch Bruce Lee movies on TV and then we would go out in the backyard
then we would go out in the backyard
then we would go out in the backyard later and we would practice our moves
later and we would practice our moves
later and we would practice our moves horrible but we thought if I knew some
horrible but we thought if I knew some
horrible but we thought if I knew some kung fu maybe I wouldn’t get bullied
kung fu maybe I wouldn’t get bullied
kung fu maybe I wouldn’t get bullied maybe I wouldn’t get picked on by the
maybe I wouldn’t get picked on by the
maybe I wouldn’t get picked on by the bullies in the neighborhood we wouldn’t
bullies in the neighborhood we wouldn’t
bullies in the neighborhood we wouldn’t be afraid of being picked on never
be afraid of being picked on never
be afraid of being picked on never happened but now here I am thinking what
happened but now here I am thinking what
happened but now here I am thinking what am I gonna do now okay I’m gonna be
am I gonna do now okay I’m gonna be
am I gonna do now okay I’m gonna be sober and I’m gonna get my life together
sober and I’m gonna get my life together
sober and I’m gonna get my life together I think but I need something more so I
I think but I need something more so I
I think but I need something more so I went out and in my brother’s honor I
went out and in my brother’s honor I
went out and in my brother’s honor I looked around at different dojos martial
looked around at different dojos martial
looked around at different dojos martial arts studios and I found one this one
arts studios and I found one this one
arts studios and I found one this one particular one it spoke to me I started
particular one it spoke to me I started
particular one it spoke to me I started working out with these guys and I made
working out with these guys and I made
working out with these guys and I made new friends people who were
new friends people who were
new friends people who were forward-thinking and they taught me
forward-thinking and they taught me
forward-thinking and they taught me about focus and meditation and
about focus and meditation and
about focus and meditation and dedication and I set myself that goal of
dedication and I set myself that goal of
dedication and I set myself that goal of getting the black belt and I achieved it
getting the black belt and I achieved it
getting the black belt and I achieved it and it felt so good
and it felt so good
and it felt so good ah it’s working my new plan is working
ah it’s working my new plan is working
ah it’s working my new plan is working what else could I have the courage to do
what else could I have the courage to do
what else could I have the courage to do and at 26 years old I had the audacity
and at 26 years old I had the audacity
and at 26 years old I had the audacity to go sign up for college me the guy
to go sign up for college me the guy
to go sign up for college me the guy that got kicked out of high school god
that got kicked out of high school god
that got kicked out of high school god it was voted most likely to be dead by
it was voted most likely to be dead by
it was voted most likely to be dead by 25 or in jail I walked into the college
25 or in jail I walked into the college
25 or in jail I walked into the college and I opened up the doors excuse me may
and I opened up the doors excuse me may
and I opened up the doors excuse me may I come in
I come in
I come in is it okay my loud in here they said oh
is it okay my loud in here they said oh
is it okay my loud in here they said oh yeah come on in come on in and I found
yeah come on in come on in and I found
yeah come on in come on in and I found out that when you study something that
out that when you study something that
out that when you study something that you love that you’re actually interested
you love that you’re actually interested
you love that you’re actually interested in
in
in it’s amazing how easy the work is I
it’s amazing how easy the work is I
it’s amazing how easy the work is I didn’t care about the grades I cared
didn’t care about the grades I cared
didn’t care about the grades I cared about the knowledge I was absorbing when
about the knowledge I was absorbing when
about the knowledge I was absorbing when I was studying human anatomy I didn’t
I was studying human anatomy I didn’t
I was studying human anatomy I didn’t want to know 70% of the bones I wanted
want to know 70% of the bones I wanted
want to know 70% of the bones I wanted to know all of the bones
to know all of the bones
to know all of the bones would you like to go to a doctor who
would you like to go to a doctor who
would you like to go to a doctor who only got a C on his bones test and the
only got a C on his bones test and the
only got a C on his bones test and the grades came and I wound up graduating
grades came and I wound up graduating
grades came and I wound up graduating magna laude me
magna laude me
magna laude me holy smokes how did I do that I got into
holy smokes how did I do that I got into
holy smokes how did I do that I got into graduate school graduate school was
graduate school graduate school was
graduate school graduate school was wonderful learned even more and now I’m
wonderful learned even more and now I’m
wonderful learned even more and now I’m becoming a psychologist and I thought
becoming a psychologist and I thought
becoming a psychologist and I thought what kind of psychologist am I going to
what kind of psychologist am I going to
what kind of psychologist am I going to become I don’t want to become the
become I don’t want to become the
become I don’t want to become the picture of a psychologist at caricature
picture of a psychologist at caricature
picture of a psychologist at caricature you know the guy with the tweed jacket
you know the guy with the tweed jacket
you know the guy with the tweed jacket with the little suede elbow patches on
with the little suede elbow patches on
with the little suede elbow patches on how does that make you feel didn’t want
how does that make you feel didn’t want
how does that make you feel didn’t want to be that guy wanted to be authentic to
to be that guy wanted to be authentic to
to be that guy wanted to be authentic to my true spirit the psyche on the bike
my true spirit the psyche on the bike
my true spirit the psyche on the bike it’s kind of an odd combination isn’t it
it’s kind of an odd combination isn’t it
it’s kind of an odd combination isn’t it a psychologist biker seems to work for
a psychologist biker seems to work for
a psychologist biker seems to work for me but I think the main thing that I
me but I think the main thing that I
me but I think the main thing that I really wanted I wanted to become the
really wanted I wanted to become the
really wanted I wanted to become the kind of psychologist that my brother
kind of psychologist that my brother
kind of psychologist that my brother could have talked to it’s important so
could have talked to it’s important so
could have talked to it’s important so what do I want you to do see I know my
what do I want you to do see I know my
what do I want you to do see I know my plan I’m very focused comfortable with
plan I’m very focused comfortable with
plan I’m very focused comfortable with my plan
my plan
my plan don’t ingest poison meditate exercise
don’t ingest poison meditate exercise
don’t ingest poison meditate exercise ride my motorcycle spend time with my
ride my motorcycle spend time with my
ride my motorcycle spend time with my wife and son I have a pretty good life I
wife and son I have a pretty good life I
wife and son I have a pretty good life I feel like I’m pretty much thriving but
feel like I’m pretty much thriving but
feel like I’m pretty much thriving but you can’t follow my program you’ve got
you can’t follow my program you’ve got
you can’t follow my program you’ve got to follow yours there’s no
to follow yours there’s no
to follow yours there’s no one-size-fits-all plan to thriving is
one-size-fits-all plan to thriving is
one-size-fits-all plan to thriving is there you have to do it you have to find
there you have to do it you have to find
there you have to do it you have to find that thing that gives you joy that makes
that thing that gives you joy that makes
that thing that gives you joy that makes your heart skip a beat or to the thing
your heart skip a beat or to the thing
your heart skip a beat or to the thing that you’re afraid to go do maybe you
that you’re afraid to go do maybe you
that you’re afraid to go do maybe you have to have the courage to thrive
thriving takes courage so what do I want
thriving takes courage so what do I want you to do I want you to find that thing
you to do I want you to find that thing
you to do I want you to find that thing that makes you happy that makes you want
that makes you happy that makes you want
that makes you happy that makes you want to thrive I want you to get out of that
to thrive I want you to get out of that
to thrive I want you to get out of that victim mentality or you’re thinking
victim mentality or you’re thinking
victim mentality or you’re thinking about oh I can just barely get by living
about oh I can just barely get by living
about oh I can just barely get by living that life of quiet desperation and truly
that life of quiet desperation and truly
that life of quiet desperation and truly start to live expand your world get out
start to live expand your world get out
start to live expand your world get out of your comfort zone
I’m gonna get on my bike and feel the
I’m gonna get on my bike and feel the wind in my hair the rumble of the engine
wind in my hair the rumble of the engine
wind in my hair the rumble of the engine underneath me the lean of the curves and
underneath me the lean of the curves and
underneath me the lean of the curves and I’ll be in my bliss
I’ll be in my bliss
I’ll be in my bliss what courageous act are you going to do
what courageous act are you going to do
what courageous act are you going to do that allows you to thrive thank you
that allows you to thrive thank you
that allows you to thrive thank you [Applause]
”
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