child marriage occurs in more than 50 developing countries around the world
developing countries around the world
developing countries around the world and almost always results in the girls
and almost always results in the girls
and almost always results in the girls removal from school what families don’t
removal from school what families don’t
removal from school what families don’t realize is that by curtailing girls
realize is that by curtailing girls
realize is that by curtailing girls education they’re only perpetuating the
education they’re only perpetuating the
education they’re only perpetuating the cycle of poverty still families do this
cycle of poverty still families do this
cycle of poverty still families do this for a number of reasons perhaps they
for a number of reasons perhaps they
for a number of reasons perhaps they can’t afford to feed the rest of their
can’t afford to feed the rest of their
can’t afford to feed the rest of their children it can create family alliances
children it can create family alliances
children it can create family alliances and it often settles debts early
and it often settles debts early
and it often settles debts early marriage often results in abusive and
marriage often results in abusive and
marriage often results in abusive and even deadly consequences
I first ran into this issue in
I first ran into this issue in Afghanistan in 2003 I was doing a story
Afghanistan in 2003 I was doing a story
Afghanistan in 2003 I was doing a story on the burn ward in Herat Afghanistan
on the burn ward in Herat Afghanistan
on the burn ward in Herat Afghanistan there several girls had set themselves
there several girls had set themselves
there several girls had set themselves on fire and I didn’t understand why they
on fire and I didn’t understand why they
on fire and I didn’t understand why they would do that as a westerner as someone
would do that as a westerner as someone
would do that as a westerner as someone who you know just had it had anything
who you know just had it had anything
who you know just had it had anything personal in my life that was so bad that
personal in my life that was so bad that
personal in my life that was so bad that I would want to do that and then I met
I would want to do that and then I met
I would want to do that and then I met this young girl Marcia she was 15 years
this young girl Marcia she was 15 years
this young girl Marcia she was 15 years old and turned out she had been married
old and turned out she had been married
old and turned out she had been married at the age of nine and she had set
at the age of nine and she had set
at the age of nine and she had set herself on fire because she broke her
herself on fire because she broke her
herself on fire because she broke her husband’s television set and you know
husband’s television set and you know
husband’s television set and you know obviously was so fearful of reaction by
obviously was so fearful of reaction by
obviously was so fearful of reaction by him or the family that she decided to
him or the family that she decided to
him or the family that she decided to set herself on fire and really that’s a
set herself on fire and really that’s a
set herself on fire and really that’s a suicide attempt so while I was in the
suicide attempt so while I was in the
suicide attempt so while I was in the burn Ward I met several girls who they
burn Ward I met several girls who they
burn Ward I met several girls who they all gave different reasons for why they
all gave different reasons for why they
all gave different reasons for why they would do this like someone didn’t make
would do this like someone didn’t make
would do this like someone didn’t make the tea hot enough it wasn’t reasons
the tea hot enough it wasn’t reasons
the tea hot enough it wasn’t reasons that I could comprehend the more I
that I could comprehend the more I
that I could comprehend the more I researched about their lives
researched about their lives
researched about their lives I learned that more than half of those
I learned that more than half of those
I learned that more than half of those girls were married underaged now I don’t
girls were married underaged now I don’t
girls were married underaged now I don’t believe that’s the only reason why those
believe that’s the only reason why those
believe that’s the only reason why those girls did that but at the same time it
girls did that but at the same time it
girls did that but at the same time it was a common denominator I couldn’t deny
was a common denominator I couldn’t deny
was a common denominator I couldn’t deny I wanted to look at the issues that
I wanted to look at the issues that
I wanted to look at the issues that would lead to such a horrific act I felt
would lead to such a horrific act I felt
would lead to such a horrific act I felt it was a bit irresponsible actually as a
it was a bit irresponsible actually as a
it was a bit irresponsible actually as a photojournalist the journalist part
photojournalist the journalist part
photojournalist the journalist part being important to just show this end
being important to just show this end
being important to just show this end result so I started looking at the issue
result so I started looking at the issue
result so I started looking at the issue of underage marriage something I had
of underage marriage something I had
of underage marriage something I had never encountered before like this I had
never encountered before like this I had
never encountered before like this I had the great fortune to meet mullah like a
the great fortune to meet mullah like a
the great fortune to meet mullah like a car and she was a police officer in
car and she was a police officer in
car and she was a police officer in Kandahar just a powerhouse really
Kandahar just a powerhouse really
Kandahar just a powerhouse really amazing woman and so she had been
amazing woman and so she had been
amazing woman and so she had been working with in the police department
working with in the police department
working with in the police department for more than 20 years even under the
for more than 20 years even under the
for more than 20 years even under the Taliban only working on women’s issues
Taliban only working on women’s issues
Taliban only working on women’s issues and so I told her what I was working on
and so I told her what I was working on
and so I told her what I was working on and she said Stephanie this is
and she said Stephanie this is
and she said Stephanie this is impossible you’re never going to
impossible you’re never going to
impossible you’re never going to photograph a wedding here in Afghanistan
photograph a wedding here in Afghanistan
photograph a wedding here in Afghanistan she’s like no I don’t even know if I can
she’s like no I don’t even know if I can
she’s like no I don’t even know if I can even get you anything like this she’s
even get you anything like this she’s
even get you anything like this she’s like it happens all the time but I don’t
like it happens all the time but I don’t
like it happens all the time but I don’t know if I can get you this and I said
know if I can get you this and I said
know if I can get you this and I said okay so then I went back to the hotel
okay so then I went back to the hotel
okay so then I went back to the hotel and she called me that afternoon she’s
and she called me that afternoon she’s
and she called me that afternoon she’s like Stephanie get over here and she had
like Stephanie get over here and she had
like Stephanie get over here and she had this young girl jameelah which actually
this young girl jameelah which actually
this young girl jameelah which actually means beautiful and Arabic but this
means beautiful and Arabic but this
means beautiful and Arabic but this young girl Jamila she was 15 years old
young girl Jamila she was 15 years old
young girl Jamila she was 15 years old she had been stabbed by her husband this
she had been stabbed by her husband this
she had been stabbed by her husband this is her husband there she already had two
is her husband there she already had two
is her husband there she already had two kids and she had just been trying to
kids and she had just been trying to
kids and she had just been trying to visit her mother without his permission
visit her mother without his permission
visit her mother without his permission and so I asked Moll I said what’s going
and so I asked Moll I said what’s going
and so I asked Moll I said what’s going to happen to this man and she said
to happen to this man and she said
to happen to this man and she said nothing she and she kind of scoffed and
nothing she and she kind of scoffed and
nothing she and she kind of scoffed and then that’s when she said men are Kings
then that’s when she said men are Kings
then that’s when she said men are Kings here and unfortunately she was the one
here and unfortunately she was the one
here and unfortunately she was the one who was later murdered by the Taliban
who was later murdered by the Taliban
who was later murdered by the Taliban having worked in the Middle East for a
having worked in the Middle East for a
having worked in the Middle East for a long time I really wanted to make sure
long time I really wanted to make sure
long time I really wanted to make sure this wasn’t something that was just
this wasn’t something that was just
this wasn’t something that was just against one religious practice you know
against one religious practice you know
against one religious practice you know it’s not meant to be against any
it’s not meant to be against any
it’s not meant to be against any religion really just practice but I
religion really just practice but I
religion really just practice but I didn’t want it to single out one and so
didn’t want it to single out one and so
didn’t want it to single out one and so I went looking in different countries
I went looking in different countries
I went looking in different countries and cultures as well and so this series
and cultures as well and so this series
and cultures as well and so this series of photographs is from Nepal and this is
of photographs is from Nepal and this is
of photographs is from Nepal and this is a village called the karate village and
a village called the karate village and
a village called the karate village and it’s just only 30 minutes outside of
it’s just only 30 minutes outside of
it’s just only 30 minutes outside of Kathmandu this village is known for
Kathmandu this village is known for
Kathmandu this village is known for practicing in this and there’s a day
practicing in this and there’s a day
practicing in this and there’s a day it’s not a cottage which they do in
it’s not a cottage which they do in
it’s not a cottage which they do in India but it’s a different auspicious
India but it’s a different auspicious
India but it’s a different auspicious day where a lot of girls are married on
day where a lot of girls are married on
day where a lot of girls are married on the same day and so I was able to see
the same day and so I was able to see
the same day and so I was able to see several of these young marriages the
several of these young marriages the
several of these young marriages the girls are usually married between 13 and
girls are usually married between 13 and
girls are usually married between 13 and 16 it was very difficult to get access
16 it was very difficult to get access
16 it was very difficult to get access to in a lot of cases I showed them some
to in a lot of cases I showed them some
to in a lot of cases I showed them some of the other pictures that I had done
of the other pictures that I had done
of the other pictures that I had done before and I wanted them to know that I
before and I wanted them to know that I
before and I wanted them to know that I wasn’t you know even though I mean I was
wasn’t you know even though I mean I was
wasn’t you know even though I mean I was focusing specifically in the beginning
focusing specifically in the beginning
focusing specifically in the beginning of the project on kind of the harmful
of the project on kind of the harmful
of the project on kind of the harmful repercussions because I wanted that
repercussions because I wanted that
repercussions because I wanted that message to get out but at the same time
message to get out but at the same time
message to get out but at the same time I wanted to show the cultures of the
I wanted to show the cultures of the
I wanted to show the cultures of the weddings and the beauty in these
weddings and the beauty in these
weddings and the beauty in these cultures and that was one of the reasons
cultures and that was one of the reasons
cultures and that was one of the reasons why I actually wanted to show the
why I actually wanted to show the
why I actually wanted to show the weddings themselves because you know you
weddings themselves because you know you
weddings themselves because you know you see all these beautiful colors and there
see all these beautiful colors and there
see all these beautiful colors and there are some really beautiful traditions one
are some really beautiful traditions one
are some really beautiful traditions one thing that I learned was that some of
thing that I learned was that some of
thing that I learned was that some of the people in these weddings that were
the people in these weddings that were
the people in these weddings that were participating were actually against the
participating were actually against the
participating were actually against the practice but they were walking a fine
practice but they were walking a fine
practice but they were walking a fine line between trying to like speak out
line between trying to like speak out
line between trying to like speak out but also they had they were part of the
but also they had they were part of the
but also they had they were part of the culture and so they wanted to help me
culture and so they wanted to help me
culture and so they wanted to help me out and help be their voice I also went
out and help be their voice I also went
out and help be their voice I also went to Ethiopia where they have a strong
to Ethiopia where they have a strong
to Ethiopia where they have a strong Christian population in January there’s
Christian population in January there’s
Christian population in January there’s a lot of weddings up in the UM horrid
a lot of weddings up in the UM horrid
a lot of weddings up in the UM horrid district which is where it’s most
district which is where it’s most
district which is where it’s most predominant in Ethiopia and I went to
predominant in Ethiopia and I went to
predominant in Ethiopia and I went to several weddings there and this one was
several weddings there and this one was
several weddings there and this one was of a young girl I think she was 14 lai
of a young girl I think she was 14 lai
of a young girl I think she was 14 lai ulam and here they actually drape this
ulam and here they actually drape this
ulam and here they actually drape this sheet over her head to take her to her
sheet over her head to take her to her
sheet over her head to take her to her husband’s house and so that’s when they
husband’s house and so that’s when they
husband’s house and so that’s when they were taking her and actually she was one
were taking her and actually she was one
were taking her and actually she was one of the girls who didn’t mind that she
of the girls who didn’t mind that she
of the girls who didn’t mind that she was getting married she thought she was
was getting married she thought she was
was getting married she thought she was going to have a better life so she
going to have a better life so she
going to have a better life so she wasn’t against her
wasn’t against her
wasn’t against her marriage but they were taking her to the
marriage but they were taking her to the
marriage but they were taking her to the house and I asked why she covered up
house and I asked why she covered up
house and I asked why she covered up like that and she said well we just want
like that and she said well we just want
like that and she said well we just want to make sure that if she escaped she
to make sure that if she escaped she
to make sure that if she escaped she can’t find her way home so she’ll have
can’t find her way home so she’ll have
can’t find her way home so she’ll have to come back this is the first time that
to come back this is the first time that
to come back this is the first time that I actually was involved in the stopping
I actually was involved in the stopping
I actually was involved in the stopping of a wedding in this situation the
of a wedding in this situation the
of a wedding in this situation the mother came over and she said to my
mother came over and she said to my
mother came over and she said to my translator that this girl was going to
translator that this girl was going to
translator that this girl was going to get married that week she asked us if we
get married that week she asked us if we
get married that week she asked us if we could stop it and I said I really don’t
could stop it and I said I really don’t
could stop it and I said I really don’t know that’s not my job to do that it’s
know that’s not my job to do that it’s
know that’s not my job to do that it’s not my position as a foreigner not even
not my position as a foreigner not even
not my position as a foreigner not even as a journalist but as a foreigner and I
as a journalist but as a foreigner and I
as a journalist but as a foreigner and I said but if you want to discuss it with
said but if you want to discuss it with
said but if you want to discuss it with the Sheikh and with our we have a
the Sheikh and with our we have a
the Sheikh and with our we have a government minder as well if you want to
government minder as well if you want to
government minder as well if you want to discuss it and tell them what you
discuss it and tell them what you
discuss it and tell them what you learned then you can and so that’s what
learned then you can and so that’s what
learned then you can and so that’s what she did they made a decision even the
she did they made a decision even the
she did they made a decision even the government minder made a decision to go
government minder made a decision to go
government minder made a decision to go talk to the head of the hospital not so
talk to the head of the hospital not so
talk to the head of the hospital not so far away and they came back and they
far away and they came back and they
far away and they came back and they talked to the village about the physical
talked to the village about the physical
talked to the village about the physical consequences of early marriage and they
consequences of early marriage and they
consequences of early marriage and they ended up stopping this particular
ended up stopping this particular
ended up stopping this particular wedding and this is a young girl who was
wedding and this is a young girl who was
wedding and this is a young girl who was early 20s and already had all those
early 20s and already had all those
early 20s and already had all those children and this is a young girl named
children and this is a young girl named
children and this is a young girl named aja and she was 14 and already had two
aja and she was 14 and already had two
aja and she was 14 and already had two children she was still bleeding from her
children she was still bleeding from her
children she was still bleeding from her pregnancy she didn’t know what was going
pregnancy she didn’t know what was going
pregnancy she didn’t know what was going on with her body and that was one of the
on with her body and that was one of the
on with her body and that was one of the scariest situations is I’m not knowing
scariest situations is I’m not knowing
scariest situations is I’m not knowing what’s going on with their bodies and
what’s going on with their bodies and
what’s going on with their bodies and and why things are happening to them
and why things are happening to them
and why things are happening to them Yemen is one of the places where it’s
Yemen is one of the places where it’s
Yemen is one of the places where it’s most predominant it’s not as reported on
most predominant it’s not as reported on
most predominant it’s not as reported on because it’s harder to get statistics
because it’s harder to get statistics
because it’s harder to get statistics and and whatnot from but an amazing
and and whatnot from but an amazing
and and whatnot from but an amazing situation I went to one village in haja
situation I went to one village in haja
situation I went to one village in haja and I said can you show me where there
and I said can you show me where there
and I said can you show me where there are some young girls who were married
are some young girls who were married
are some young girls who were married underage and so all of a sudden all
underage and so all of a sudden all
underage and so all of a sudden all these girls come in and I was like wow I
these girls come in and I was like wow I
these girls come in and I was like wow I was expecting like two so all these
was expecting like two so all these
was expecting like two so all these girls were married a couple of them had
girls were married a couple of them had
girls were married a couple of them had children most of them were about 15 16
children most of them were about 15 16
children most of them were about 15 16 most of them were not in school or had
most of them were not in school or had
most of them were not in school or had never been in school and I asked them
never been in school and I asked them
never been in school and I asked them why hadn’t they gone and they said
why hadn’t they gone and they said
why hadn’t they gone and they said because there’s no female teachers when
because there’s no female teachers when
because there’s no female teachers when you have a culture like this where if
you have a culture like this where if
you have a culture like this where if you don’t have girls who are educated to
you don’t have girls who are educated to
you don’t have girls who are educated to be enough to become teachers then how do
be enough to become teachers then how do
be enough to become teachers then how do you put female teachers in these rural
you put female teachers in these rural
you put female teachers in these rural areas because this is
areas because this is
areas because this is so nah this isn’t even ha data this is
so nah this isn’t even ha data this is
so nah this isn’t even ha data this is like the rural village areas and so it’s
like the rural village areas and so it’s
like the rural village areas and so it’s hard to change a culture cultural
hard to change a culture cultural
hard to change a culture cultural practices where you know there’s nothing
practices where you know there’s nothing
practices where you know there’s nothing for them to do but get married if
for them to do but get married if
for them to do but get married if they’re not educated to do anything else
they’re not educated to do anything else
they’re not educated to do anything else so it was kind of a catch-22 and I felt
so it was kind of a catch-22 and I felt
so it was kind of a catch-22 and I felt that that was an important part of this
that that was an important part of this
that that was an important part of this story thank you so I started in India on
story thank you so I started in India on
story thank you so I started in India on my in my fieldwork because it is the
my in my fieldwork because it is the
my in my fieldwork because it is the case of course that this happens a great
case of course that this happens a great
case of course that this happens a great deal in India as well as other countries
deal in India as well as other countries
deal in India as well as other countries in India being one of the most populous
in India being one of the most populous
in India being one of the most populous countries on the planet there’s a whole
countries on the planet there’s a whole
countries on the planet there’s a whole area in northern India the state of
area in northern India the state of
area in northern India the state of Rajasthan where this practice is more
Rajasthan where this practice is more
Rajasthan where this practice is more widespread than anywhere else
widespread than anywhere else
widespread than anywhere else concentrated in India although it does
concentrated in India although it does
concentrated in India although it does take place all over India and in
take place all over India and in
take place all over India and in particular there is a season in India
particular there is a season in India
particular there is a season in India called a cottage which it’s not
called a cottage which it’s not
called a cottage which it’s not specifically marriages that are regarded
specifically marriages that are regarded
specifically marriages that are regarded as auspicious as we came to learn during
as auspicious as we came to learn during
as auspicious as we came to learn during a cottage all new enterprises including
a cottage all new enterprises including
a cottage all new enterprises including business enterprises are thought to have
business enterprises are thought to have
business enterprises are thought to have a good start if they take place during
a good start if they take place during
a good start if they take place during this set of religious and astrological
this set of religious and astrological
this set of religious and astrological holidays in a cottage so I first went
holidays in a cottage so I first went
holidays in a cottage so I first went Stephanie and I didn’t connect until the
Stephanie and I didn’t connect until the
Stephanie and I didn’t connect until the second trip I first went and spent a lot
second trip I first went and spent a lot
second trip I first went and spent a lot of time just in the field that Stephanie
of time just in the field that Stephanie
of time just in the field that Stephanie says just talking to people and coming
says just talking to people and coming
says just talking to people and coming to understand how extraordinary how
to understand how extraordinary how
to understand how extraordinary how extraordinarily complicated this is
extraordinarily complicated this is
extraordinarily complicated this is here’s something that we all sort of
here’s something that we all sort of
here’s something that we all sort of know in the abstract but that takes a
know in the abstract but that takes a
know in the abstract but that takes a very different reality when you’re in
very different reality when you’re in
very different reality when you’re in India many many of the marriages in
India many many of the marriages in
India many many of the marriages in India are arranged marriages
India are arranged marriages
India are arranged marriages it is thus it remains to this day the
it is thus it remains to this day the
it is thus it remains to this day the most common way for marriage to occur in
most common way for marriage to occur in
most common way for marriage to occur in India for young men and young women so
India for young men and young women so
India for young men and young women so the notion that there is some
the notion that there is some
the notion that there is some independent right for a woman or a girl
independent right for a woman or a girl
independent right for a woman or a girl to select who she’s going to marry is
to select who she’s going to marry is
to select who she’s going to marry is regarded in many of the most enlightened
regarded in many of the most enlightened
regarded in many of the most enlightened families in India as just nonsensical
families in India as just nonsensical
families in India as just nonsensical because that’s not the way you do it a
because that’s not the way you do it a
because that’s not the way you do it a marriage Indians would say to me of all
marriage Indians would say to me of all
marriage Indians would say to me of all educational levels is a joining of two
educational levels is a joining of two
educational levels is a joining of two families it’s not to excuse me to
families it’s not to excuse me to
families it’s not to excuse me to foolish young people in love with each
foolish young people in love with each
foolish young people in love with each other
other
other deciding to get married they’re so very
deciding to get married they’re so very
deciding to get married they’re so very much more at stake so that goes out the
much more at stake so that goes out the
much more at stake so that goes out the door right away then you think about a
door right away then you think about a
door right away then you think about a village a very poor village as this one
village a very poor village as this one
village a very poor village as this one was where the only option for a girl
was where the only option for a girl
was where the only option for a girl growing up
growing up
growing up is to work on a field in tremendous heat
is to work on a field in tremendous heat
is to work on a field in tremendous heat or tremendous monsoon and suffer
or tremendous monsoon and suffer
or tremendous monsoon and suffer possibly the consequences of having some
possibly the consequences of having some
possibly the consequences of having some young man or boy have sex with her
young man or boy have sex with her
young man or boy have sex with her before she’s married which in that
before she’s married which in that
before she’s married which in that culture renders her basically an outcast
culture renders her basically an outcast
culture renders her basically an outcast for the rest of her life so those are
for the rest of her life so those are
for the rest of her life so those are two things right there that are very
two things right there that are very
two things right there that are very different from anything that a typical
different from anything that a typical
different from anything that a typical American or western young woman might
American or western young woman might
American or western young woman might have to contemplate in her future this
have to contemplate in her future this
have to contemplate in her future this village is the one that we went to after
village is the one that we went to after
village is the one that we went to after weeks and weeks and weeks of hanging
weeks and weeks and weeks of hanging
weeks and weeks and weeks of hanging around on both of our parts Stephanie is
around on both of our parts Stephanie is
around on both of our parts Stephanie is the most amazing hanger around her
the most amazing hanger around her
the most amazing hanger around her waiting for things to happen I’ve ever
waiting for things to happen I’ve ever
waiting for things to happen I’ve ever encountered and she does it in the most
encountered and she does it in the most
encountered and she does it in the most brutal circumstances you can imagine we
brutal circumstances you can imagine we
brutal circumstances you can imagine we had been told that there were two
had been told that there were two
had been told that there were two adolescent girls sisters who were going
adolescent girls sisters who were going
adolescent girls sisters who were going to be married and that it was going to
to be married and that it was going to
to be married and that it was going to take place at night and that if we were
take place at night and that if we were
take place at night and that if we were very careful and did all sorts of
very careful and did all sorts of
very careful and did all sorts of elegant negotiations and brought some
elegant negotiations and brought some
elegant negotiations and brought some kind of a token of respect to the
kind of a token of respect to the
kind of a token of respect to the village we could watch so we came we
village we could watch so we came we
village we could watch so we came we were prepared for the wedding of a 12
were prepared for the wedding of a 12
were prepared for the wedding of a 12 year old and a 13 year old or something
year old and a 13 year old or something
year old and a 13 year old or something like that we’ve been told this is one of
like that we’ve been told this is one of
like that we’ve been told this is one of the teenage girls preparing putting on
the teenage girls preparing putting on
the teenage girls preparing putting on her makeup this is a big event both for
her makeup this is a big event both for
her makeup this is a big event both for the girls and for everyone in the
the girls and for everyone in the
the girls and for everyone in the village the entire village is consumed
village the entire village is consumed
village the entire village is consumed by the festivities that are coming to
by the festivities that are coming to
by the festivities that are coming to pass this little girl was part of the
pass this little girl was part of the
pass this little girl was part of the family that we met and her face will
family that we met and her face will
family that we met and her face will haunt me for the rest of my days that is
haunt me for the rest of my days that is
haunt me for the rest of my days that is very much what she looked like we first
very much what she looked like we first
very much what she looked like we first saw her in the afternoon in her little
saw her in the afternoon in her little
saw her in the afternoon in her little pink dress as she was wandering around
pink dress as she was wandering around
pink dress as she was wandering around we said who is that they said oh she’s
we said who is that they said oh she’s
we said who is that they said oh she’s the cousin of the two sisters people
the cousin of the two sisters people
the cousin of the two sisters people were kind of circumspect about it then
were kind of circumspect about it then
were kind of circumspect about it then they started putting makeup on this
they started putting makeup on this
they started putting makeup on this little girl I remember this room it was
little girl I remember this room it was
little girl I remember this room it was a tiny little room in the village it was
a tiny little room in the village it was
a tiny little room in the village it was enormous ly hot everybody was crammed in
enormous ly hot everybody was crammed in
enormous ly hot everybody was crammed in there of course there were only women as
there of course there were only women as
there of course there were only women as you might imagine crammed into this
you might imagine crammed into this
you might imagine crammed into this thing and Stephanie and I just sat
thing and Stephanie and I just sat
thing and Stephanie and I just sat watching and we all began to realize and
watching and we all began to realize and
watching and we all began to realize and are in our translator who was also a
are in our translator who was also a
are in our translator who was also a young woman began to realize what we
young woman began to realize what we
young woman began to realize what we thought was likely to happen and this
thought was likely to happen and this
thought was likely to happen and this horrible feeling grew in all of us
horrible feeling grew in all of us
horrible feeling grew in all of us Stephanie had been living with this
Stephanie had been living with this
Stephanie had been living with this reality for many years longer than any
reality for many years longer than any
reality for many years longer than any of us but I think if I’m not mistaken
of us but I think if I’m not mistaken
of us but I think if I’m not mistaken Stephanie that this was the first time
Stephanie that this was the first time
Stephanie that this was the first time you had actually seen a child this young
you had actually seen a child this young
you had actually seen a child this young being prepared for what looked like her
being prepared for what looked like her
being prepared for what looked like her wedding the women gathered around there
wedding the women gathered around there
wedding the women gathered around there were many many prenuptial traditions
were many many prenuptial traditions
were many many prenuptial traditions some of which were quite beautiful in
some of which were quite beautiful in
some of which were quite beautiful in the tremendous heat
the tremendous heat
the tremendous heat I remember them walking with crockery on
I remember them walking with crockery on
I remember them walking with crockery on their head across a long field and at
their head across a long field and at
their head across a long field and at one point the cloth that you see behind
one point the cloth that you see behind
one point the cloth that you see behind they had multiple kinds of beautiful
they had multiple kinds of beautiful
they had multiple kinds of beautiful sari cloth strung out all over the
sari cloth strung out all over the
sari cloth strung out all over the village to make canopies to make
village to make canopies to make
village to make canopies to make celebratory places because people were
celebratory places because people were
celebratory places because people were going to come from far and wide so the
going to come from far and wide so the
going to come from far and wide so the women are standing behind there’s the
women are standing behind there’s the
women are standing behind there’s the three girls and they’re all bathing in
three girls and they’re all bathing in
three girls and they’re all bathing in there in the dirt and now they were
there in the dirt and now they were
there in the dirt and now they were washing the little girl and now we
washing the little girl and now we
washing the little girl and now we understood for sure that she was going
understood for sure that she was going
understood for sure that she was going to be part of the wedding the
to be part of the wedding the
to be part of the wedding the proceedings went on for hours that’s
proceedings went on for hours that’s
proceedings went on for hours that’s typical for an Indian wedding
typical for an Indian wedding
typical for an Indian wedding it’s especially typical for weddings in
it’s especially typical for weddings in
it’s especially typical for weddings in this part of northern India where when
this part of northern India where when
this part of northern India where when they are breaking the law
they are breaking the law
they are breaking the law as it’s important to remember they were
as it’s important to remember they were
as it’s important to remember they were doing this is not a legal practice in
doing this is not a legal practice in
doing this is not a legal practice in India it has not been for over a century
India it has not been for over a century
India it has not been for over a century and that’s the case in most not all but
and that’s the case in most not all but
and that’s the case in most not all but most of the countries in which child
most of the countries in which child
most of the countries in which child marriage takes place if you go to the
marriage takes place if you go to the
marriage takes place if you go to the Indian authorities at the state the
Indian authorities at the state the
Indian authorities at the state the provincial at the local level the state
provincial at the local level the state
provincial at the local level the state level in the national level they will
level in the national level they will
level in the national level they will decry this practice just as vigorously
decry this practice just as vigorously
decry this practice just as vigorously as anyone here in the United States
as anyone here in the United States
as anyone here in the United States would but they will also say it’s very
would but they will also say it’s very
would but they will also say it’s very difficult to climb into these cultures
difficult to climb into these cultures
difficult to climb into these cultures and find out what’s going on and
and find out what’s going on and
and find out what’s going on and furthermore when you do get the word of
furthermore when you do get the word of
furthermore when you do get the word of what’s going on if you try to stop it
what’s going on if you try to stop it
what’s going on if you try to stop it which way they will sometimes do they
which way they will sometimes do they
which way they will sometimes do they will make a great show they will throw
will make a great show they will throw
will make a great show they will throw someone in jail you have probably
someone in jail you have probably
someone in jail you have probably disgraced that family for a generation
disgraced that family for a generation
disgraced that family for a generation to come you have probably not stopped
to come you have probably not stopped
to come you have probably not stopped the girl from getting married too early
the girl from getting married too early
the girl from getting married too early you have certainly not given her a life
you have certainly not given her a life
you have certainly not given her a life which would be a healthy option to being
which would be a healthy option to being
which would be a healthy option to being married what have you done it’s a huge
married what have you done it’s a huge
married what have you done it’s a huge and complex problem the night comes the
and complex problem the night comes the
and complex problem the night comes the ceremonial fire is lit and the
ceremonial fire is lit and the
ceremonial fire is lit and the expression on the children’s face is one
expression on the children’s face is one
expression on the children’s face is one of pretty much utter bewilderment I
of pretty much utter bewilderment I
of pretty much utter bewilderment I would say the extent to which this this
would say the extent to which this this
would say the extent to which this this young boy who’s about three years older
young boy who’s about three years older
young boy who’s about three years older than our five year old understood what
than our five year old understood what
than our five year old understood what was going on
was going on
was going on was really not possible for us to know
was really not possible for us to know
was really not possible for us to know the older brothers were obviously
the older brothers were obviously
the older brothers were obviously clearer about what was happening these
clearer about what was happening these
clearer about what was happening these children were not and it’s also because
children were not and it’s also because
children were not and it’s also because it’s such a long drawn-out ceremony it
it’s such a long drawn-out ceremony it
it’s such a long drawn-out ceremony it has none of what we regard as the sort
has none of what we regard as the sort
has none of what we regard as the sort of tidiness of a Western ceremony I now
of tidiness of a Western ceremony I now
of tidiness of a Western ceremony I now pronounce you husband and wife boom were
pronounce you husband and wife boom were
pronounce you husband and wife boom were done it went on and on and on this is
done it went on and on and on this is
done it went on and on and on this is the picture that haunts me still and the
the picture that haunts me still and the
the picture that haunts me still and the reason I wanted to show it to you
reason I wanted to show it to you
reason I wanted to show it to you afterward is that this picture conveys
afterward is that this picture conveys
afterward is that this picture conveys utterly the confusing feeling of that
utterly the confusing feeling of that
utterly the confusing feeling of that evening at this moment she’s taken a nap
evening at this moment she’s taken a nap
evening at this moment she’s taken a nap she’s been awakened from her nap and
she’s been awakened from her nap and
she’s been awakened from her nap and she’s being carried to the ceremony and
she’s being carried to the ceremony and
she’s being carried to the ceremony and the tenderness that you see in this
the tenderness that you see in this
the tenderness that you see in this picture on behalf of the man holding her
picture on behalf of the man holding her
picture on behalf of the man holding her was absolutely what we saw there it was
was absolutely what we saw there it was
was absolutely what we saw there it was one of the most complicated scenes I had
one of the most complicated scenes I had
one of the most complicated scenes I had ever seen as a reporter knowing that
ever seen as a reporter knowing that
ever seen as a reporter knowing that this child is going off to something
this child is going off to something
this child is going off to something that is a horrifying notion to me and at
that is a horrifying notion to me and at
that is a horrifying notion to me and at the same time at being very clear that
the same time at being very clear that
the same time at being very clear that the people who are doing it including
the people who are doing it including
the people who are doing it including this uncle who’s carrying her loved her
this uncle who’s carrying her loved her
this uncle who’s carrying her loved her deeply
deeply
deeply and think they’re doing the right thing
and think they’re doing the right thing
and think they’re doing the right thing for her it is important also to remember
for her it is important also to remember
for her it is important also to remember that in India unlike some of the other
that in India unlike some of the other
that in India unlike some of the other countries there is a second ceremony
countries there is a second ceremony
countries there is a second ceremony that takes place the plan typically
that takes place the plan typically
that takes place the plan typically although not always is that this child
although not always is that this child
although not always is that this child will live at home in this case with her
will live at home in this case with her
will live at home in this case with her grandfather and she will not go to her
grandfather and she will not go to her
grandfather and she will not go to her husband’s family until she’s past
husband’s family until she’s past
husband’s family until she’s past puberty that second ceremony is called
puberty that second ceremony is called
puberty that second ceremony is called Ghana and part of what they do in India
Ghana and part of what they do in India
Ghana and part of what they do in India is try as hard as they can to postpone
is try as hard as they can to postpone
is try as hard as they can to postpone the Ghana but it was the gentleness with
the Ghana but it was the gentleness with
the Ghana but it was the gentleness with which this man lifted her from sleep and
which this man lifted her from sleep and
which this man lifted her from sleep and took her to the ceremony that really
took her to the ceremony that really
took her to the ceremony that really haunted me and made me realize how far I
haunted me and made me realize how far I
haunted me and made me realize how far I had come from my original absolute
had come from my original absolute
had come from my original absolute clarity about everybody involved in this
clarity about everybody involved in this
clarity about everybody involved in this practice being simply evil now this
practice being simply evil now this
practice being simply evil now this child is someone for whom I want you to
child is someone for whom I want you to
child is someone for whom I want you to have some hope
have some hope
have some hope I talked to you originally about some of
I talked to you originally about some of
I talked to you originally about some of the reasons that a parent a loving
the reasons that a parent a loving
the reasons that a parent a loving parent would do this you’re protecting
parent would do this you’re protecting
parent would do this you’re protecting your child from possible rape because
your child from possible rape because
your child from possible rape because you live in a society in which loss of
you live in a society in which loss of
you live in a society in which loss of virginity before marriage renders a
virginity before marriage renders a
virginity before marriage renders a young woman an outcast number one number
young woman an outcast number one number
young woman an outcast number one number two you know in the abstract that people
two you know in the abstract that people
two you know in the abstract that people from the government have told you
from the government have told you
from the government have told you schooling is important but that’s kind
schooling is important but that’s kind
schooling is important but that’s kind of irrelevant when you live in a village
of irrelevant when you live in a village
of irrelevant when you live in a village where the only schooling your child can
where the only schooling your child can
where the only schooling your child can get to goes up to fifth grade after
get to goes up to fifth grade after
get to goes up to fifth grade after fifth grade there’s a long bus ride
fifth grade there’s a long bus ride
fifth grade there’s a long bus ride that’s required there are predatory men
that’s required there are predatory men
that’s required there are predatory men on the bus which makes the bus ride
on the bus which makes the bus ride
on the bus which makes the bus ride itself dangerous if you’re in a culture
itself dangerous if you’re in a culture
itself dangerous if you’re in a culture like this you don’t send your child to
like this you don’t send your child to
like this you don’t send your child to that school no matter what a government
that school no matter what a government
that school no matter what a government person is telling you about the
person is telling you about the
person is telling you about the importance of schooling so that stops
importance of schooling so that stops
importance of schooling so that stops right there so if you have no cultural
right there so if you have no cultural
right there so if you have no cultural option no effective schooling past fifth
option no effective schooling past fifth
option no effective schooling past fifth grade no tradition of regard for the
grade no tradition of regard for the
grade no tradition of regard for the importance of individual right in
importance of individual right in
importance of individual right in choosing a marriage a clear life
choosing a marriage a clear life
choosing a marriage a clear life involving rural life agricultural work
involving rural life agricultural work
involving rural life agricultural work and some kind of poverty in your future
and some kind of poverty in your future
and some kind of poverty in your future what do you do to protect your child you
what do you do to protect your child you
what do you do to protect your child you make sure she’s marrying into a good
make sure she’s marrying into a good
make sure she’s marrying into a good family and you do it very young so that
family and you do it very young so that
family and you do it very young so that she won’t be attacked she’ll have some
she won’t be attacked she’ll have some
she won’t be attacked she’ll have some sort of respect as a married child
sort of respect as a married child
sort of respect as a married child already and so that there’s no chance
already and so that there’s no chance
already and so that there’s no chance that she can go astray this child lived
that she can go astray this child lived
that she can go astray this child lived in a village some distance away from the
in a village some distance away from the
in a village some distance away from the one we’d been at previously and she had
one we’d been at previously and she had
one we’d been at previously and she had been in a school where the government
been in a school where the government
been in a school where the government teachers understood how bad child
teachers understood how bad child
teachers understood how bad child marriage was and they had really drummed
marriage was and they had really drummed
marriage was and they had really drummed into all of the children don’t do this
into all of the children don’t do this
into all of the children don’t do this don’t do this her older sister was
don’t do this her older sister was
don’t do this her older sister was getting married in a house just a few
getting married in a house just a few
getting married in a house just a few houses away and the night of the older
houses away and the night of the older
houses away and the night of the older sister’s wedding
sister’s wedding
sister’s wedding her mother do her aside and said you two
her mother do her aside and said you two
her mother do her aside and said you two tied a string around her wrists which
tied a string around her wrists which
tied a string around her wrists which was part of the ceremonial process she
was part of the ceremonial process she
was part of the ceremonial process she jumped up and according to everybody
jumped up and according to everybody
jumped up and according to everybody that we talked to including the mother
that we talked to including the mother
that we talked to including the mother said to her mother and father if you do
said to her mother and father if you do
said to her mother and father if you do that I will call the police and I will
that I will call the police and I will
that I will call the police and I will break your head with a rock those were
break your head with a rock those were
break your head with a rock those were her actual words she read they were they
her actual words she read they were they
her actual words she read they were they said this the mom finally said this to
said this the mom finally said this to
said this the mom finally said this to me with some pride
me with some pride
me with some pride was not someone’s afterward she ran up
was not someone’s afterward she ran up
was not someone’s afterward she ran up the street to the home of a village
the street to the home of a village
the street to the home of a village worker they have these in India they are
worker they have these in India they are
worker they have these in India they are paid for very nominally by the local
paid for very nominally by the local
paid for very nominally by the local governments and their job is to monitor
governments and their job is to monitor
governments and their job is to monitor public health in a general sort of way
public health in a general sort of way
public health in a general sort of way the village worker went over with with
the village worker went over with with
the village worker went over with with her own parents and in-laws to the
her own parents and in-laws to the
her own parents and in-laws to the village and said don’t to this house and
village and said don’t to this house and
village and said don’t to this house and said don’t do this let us tell you all
said don’t do this let us tell you all
said don’t do this let us tell you all the reasons that this is a bad thing for
the reasons that this is a bad thing for
the reasons that this is a bad thing for your daughter astonishingly finally
your daughter astonishingly finally
your daughter astonishingly finally there’s a huge Rao apparently an entire
there’s a huge Rao apparently an entire
there’s a huge Rao apparently an entire village got in on it the parents were
village got in on it the parents were
village got in on it the parents were persuaded she was not married off and by
persuaded she was not married off and by
persuaded she was not married off and by the time I met her some months later she
the time I met her some months later she
the time I met her some months later she was an avid cricket player and those are
was an avid cricket player and those are
was an avid cricket player and those are movie star pictures that she has up in
movie star pictures that she has up in
movie star pictures that she has up in her room and she was preparing to go on
her room and she was preparing to go on
her room and she was preparing to go on to middle school and beyond
”
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