[Music] yeah today is an anniversary today Jan
yeah today is an anniversary today Jan
yeah today is an anniversary today Jan 20th 14 years ago I had an experience
20th 14 years ago I had an experience
20th 14 years ago I had an experience that changed me that changed how I
that changed me that changed how I
that changed me that changed how I perceive how I view fear and anxiety and
perceive how I view fear and anxiety and
perceive how I view fear and anxiety and pressure my friend Naomi and I had
pressure my friend Naomi and I had
pressure my friend Naomi and I had driven out to Revelstoke and slept the
driven out to Revelstoke and slept the
driven out to Revelstoke and slept the night in the back of her truck and big
night in the back of her truck and big
night in the back of her truck and big down sleeping bags loaded up a chopper
down sleeping bags loaded up a chopper
down sleeping bags loaded up a chopper the next morning and flew 30 minutes
the next morning and flew 30 minutes
the next morning and flew 30 minutes into the northern Selkirk’s of British
into the northern Selkirk’s of British
into the northern Selkirk’s of British Columbia to a remote backcountry ski
Columbia to a remote backcountry ski
Columbia to a remote backcountry ski lodge fully intent on seven days of big
lodge fully intent on seven days of big
lodge fully intent on seven days of big climbs and big descents and deep snow
climbs and big descents and deep snow
climbs and big descents and deep snow and we got it for two days because on
and we got it for two days because on
and we got it for two days because on earth day we were both trapped in a
earth day we were both trapped in a
earth day we were both trapped in a class three avalanche class here in
class three avalanche class here in
class three avalanche class here in Canada means enough snow and enough
Canada means enough snow and enough
Canada means enough snow and enough power to destroy a small car tear down
power to destroy a small car tear down
power to destroy a small car tear down trees or bury a train car 13 people were
trees or bury a train car 13 people were
trees or bury a train car 13 people were buried in that average nine of them full
buried in that average nine of them full
buried in that average nine of them full burials completely under the snow sin of
burials completely under the snow sin of
burials completely under the snow sin of those full burials including Naomi died
those full burials including Naomi died
those full burials including Naomi died and i am one of the two full burials who
and i am one of the two full burials who
and i am one of the two full burials who survived for 12 minutes the fear rose up
survived for 12 minutes the fear rose up
survived for 12 minutes the fear rose up the moment the avalanche stopped moving
the moment the avalanche stopped moving
the moment the avalanche stopped moving and I was trapped and it came as a
and I was trapped and it came as a
and I was trapped and it came as a certainty and as an image the certainty
certainty and as an image the certainty
certainty and as an image the certainty that my friend was somewhere over there
that my friend was somewhere over there
that my friend was somewhere over there also trapped and suffering and the image
also trapped and suffering and the image
also trapped and suffering and the image of her truck of the front seat of her
of her truck of the front seat of her
of her truck of the front seat of her truck empty and the fear that I would go
truck empty and the fear that I would go
truck empty and the fear that I would go home alone which is another thing to
home alone which is another thing to
home alone which is another thing to talk about now because I know that she
talk about now because I know that she
talk about now because I know that she didn’t make it and it comes back as pain
didn’t make it and it comes back as pain
didn’t make it and it comes back as pain but then in the minutes of being buried
but then in the minutes of being buried
but then in the minutes of being buried it was this this intense fear of what
it was this this intense fear of what
it was this this intense fear of what could happen and it wanted to take over
could happen and it wanted to take over
could happen and it wanted to take over because that’s what fear does that’s
because that’s what fear does that’s
because that’s what fear does that’s what fear wants it wants to reach out
what fear wants it wants to reach out
what fear wants it wants to reach out and grab all of our attention it wants
and grab all of our attention it wants
and grab all of our attention it wants to light up your lizard brain and compel
to light up your lizard brain and compel
to light up your lizard brain and compel you to do anything except that in that
you to do anything except that in that
you to do anything except that in that moment if I had fought I I would have
moment if I had fought I I would have
moment if I had fought I I would have died too I got lucky I believe that luck
died too I got lucky I believe that luck
died too I got lucky I believe that luck is when practice and discipline collide
is when practice and discipline collide
is when practice and discipline collide with an opportunity and the practice and
with an opportunity and the practice and
with an opportunity and the practice and discipline started for me over a decade
discipline started for me over a decade
discipline started for me over a decade before the Avalanche I was that kid who
before the Avalanche I was that kid who
before the Avalanche I was that kid who was on on on on on on on I would joke
was on on on on on on on I would joke
was on on on on on on on I would joke with my friends I think i think too much
with my friends I think i think too much
with my friends I think i think too much and they would joke with me Evan you
and they would joke with me Evan you
and they would joke with me Evan you have two speeds fast and lunch
and my mom saw this she figured it out
and my mom saw this she figured it out and she she got a tape I don’t know when
and she she got a tape I don’t know when
and she she got a tape I don’t know when where or how she got it nowadays of
where or how she got it nowadays of
where or how she got it nowadays of course we would say an app or podcast
course we would say an app or podcast
course we would say an app or podcast four minutes long and it was a guided
four minutes long and it was a guided
four minutes long and it was a guided process to walk me through progressive
process to walk me through progressive
process to walk me through progressive muscle relaxation pmr maybe you’ve heard
muscle relaxation pmr maybe you’ve heard
muscle relaxation pmr maybe you’ve heard of this it was originally published in
of this it was originally published in
of this it was originally published in 1930s by a guy named Edmund Jacobson in
1930s by a guy named Edmund Jacobson in
1930s by a guy named Edmund Jacobson in his book titled you must relax so that’s
his book titled you must relax so that’s
his book titled you must relax so that’s what my mom gave me I tried it it was
what my mom gave me I tried it it was
what my mom gave me I tried it it was about four minutes long I liked it it’s
about four minutes long I liked it it’s
about four minutes long I liked it it’s exactly what it sounds like bit by bit
exactly what it sounds like bit by bit
exactly what it sounds like bit by bit piece by piece from your feet up to your
piece by piece from your feet up to your
piece by piece from your feet up to your shoulders out through your arms back to
shoulders out through your arms back to
shoulders out through your arms back to your neck in your face you progressively
your neck in your face you progressively
your neck in your face you progressively ID and flex and relax your muscles one
ID and flex and relax your muscles one
ID and flex and relax your muscles one at a time takes a few minutes but it
at a time takes a few minutes but it
at a time takes a few minutes but it leads to this amazing calm and I like
leads to this amazing calm and I like
leads to this amazing calm and I like that so I stuck with it for years even
that so I stuck with it for years even
that so I stuck with it for years even to the point of teaching others people
to the point of teaching others people
to the point of teaching others people that I would bike race with and run with
that I would bike race with and run with
that I would bike race with and run with so that they could figure out how to
so that they could figure out how to
so that they could figure out how to relax the muscles that weren’t moving
relax the muscles that weren’t moving
relax the muscles that weren’t moving them forward and then be more efficient
them forward and then be more efficient
them forward and then be more efficient and faster and got really good at it and
and faster and got really good at it and
and faster and got really good at it and in the moment of the Avalanche the luck
in the moment of the Avalanche the luck
in the moment of the Avalanche the luck hit in the weirdest way the way the snow
hit in the weirdest way the way the snow
hit in the weirdest way the way the snow deposited me and I say deposit because
deposited me and I say deposit because
deposited me and I say deposit because you really don’t have any choice or
you really don’t have any choice or
you really don’t have any choice or control people tell you that it will
control people tell you that it will
control people tell you that it will slow down and you can move your hands in
slow down and you can move your hands in
slow down and you can move your hands in front of your face that didn’t really
front of your face that didn’t really
front of your face that didn’t really happen it’s like wrestling a thousand
happen it’s like wrestling a thousand
happen it’s like wrestling a thousand tons of snow and gravity is on the side
tons of snow and gravity is on the side
tons of snow and gravity is on the side of the Avalanche not you so you kind of
of the Avalanche not you so you kind of
of the Avalanche not you so you kind of don’t have a lot of control it deposited
don’t have a lot of control it deposited
don’t have a lot of control it deposited me and wrapped around me and stirred up
me and wrapped around me and stirred up
me and wrapped around me and stirred up and warmed up and then refroze and I was
and warmed up and then refroze and I was
and warmed up and then refroze and I was cemented into this position where I’ll
cemented into this position where I’ll
cemented into this position where I’ll try and demonstrate but I’m not that
try and demonstrate but I’m not that
try and demonstrate but I’m not that flexible anymore my left leg my ski was
flexible anymore my left leg my ski was
flexible anymore my left leg my ski was porking out my left leg and I could feel
porking out my left leg and I could feel
porking out my left leg and I could feel the twist in my knees and the intense
the twist in my knees and the intense
the twist in my knees and the intense pain in my leg tendon pulling on bone
pain in my leg tendon pulling on bone
pain in my leg tendon pulling on bone that deep
and it took my attention it took a scrap
and it took my attention it took a scrap of my attention and it triggered all of
of my attention and it triggered all of
of my attention and it triggered all of that discipline oh and the process
that discipline oh and the process
that discipline oh and the process followed and I recognized my right leg
followed and I recognized my right leg
followed and I recognized my right leg was pushing and I let it go my hips were
was pushing and I let it go my hips were
was pushing and I let it go my hips were flex tonight let him go and my back
flex tonight let him go and my back
flex tonight let him go and my back right between the shoulder blades like
right between the shoulder blades like
right between the shoulder blades like someone was clenching it I let it go and
someone was clenching it I let it go and
someone was clenching it I let it go and slowly but surely as i did this my
slowly but surely as i did this my
slowly but surely as i did this my awareness opened up I took the focus
awareness opened up I took the focus
awareness opened up I took the focus back from the fear bit by bit there
back from the fear bit by bit there
back from the fear bit by bit there wasn’t gone the image was still there on
wasn’t gone the image was still there on
wasn’t gone the image was still there on the edge of my vision wanting attention
the edge of my vision wanting attention
the edge of my vision wanting attention I’ve learned since about this really
I’ve learned since about this really
I’ve learned since about this really neat concept associative and
neat concept associative and
neat concept associative and dissociative focus which are exactly
dissociative focus which are exactly
dissociative focus which are exactly what they sound like disco’s you to
what they sound like disco’s you to
what they sound like disco’s you to focus is where you push something away
focus is where you push something away
focus is where you push something away you don’t focus on it you refuse to give
you don’t focus on it you refuse to give
you don’t focus on it you refuse to give it your attention your focus associative
it your attention your focus associative
it your attention your focus associative focus is quite the opposite you
focus is quite the opposite you
focus is quite the opposite you purposely give your attention to one
purposely give your attention to one
purposely give your attention to one thing and you in the audience sitting
thing and you in the audience sitting
thing and you in the audience sitting here right now you might give all of
here right now you might give all of
here right now you might give all of your attention to how the chair feels
your attention to how the chair feels
your attention to how the chair feels and what’s cool is that they’re not
and what’s cool is that they’re not
and what’s cool is that they’re not mutually exclusive when you associate
mutually exclusive when you associate
mutually exclusive when you associate with one thing when you focus on one
with one thing when you focus on one
with one thing when you focus on one thing the other gets less time and
thing the other gets less time and
thing the other gets less time and attention right you don’t notice your
attention right you don’t notice your
attention right you don’t notice your feet because you’re noticing the chair
feet because you’re noticing the chair
feet because you’re noticing the chair and it works across levels across planes
and it works across levels across planes
and it works across levels across planes in our from our physical torment all to
in our from our physical torment all to
in our from our physical torment all to our emotional self as I associated with
our emotional self as I associated with
our emotional self as I associated with my physical body I dissociated from the
my physical body I dissociated from the
my physical body I dissociated from the emotional intensity this extensively
emotional intensity this extensively
emotional intensity this extensively researched very well published used for
researched very well published used for
researched very well published used for anxiety chronic pain chronic disc ronik
anxiety chronic pain chronic disc ronik
anxiety chronic pain chronic disc ronik fatigue injury recovery I didn’t know I
fatigue injury recovery I didn’t know I
fatigue injury recovery I didn’t know I was doing it
was doing it
was doing it kicked in and my awareness woke up and
kicked in and my awareness woke up and
kicked in and my awareness woke up and this really neat thing happens we’ve got
this really neat thing happens we’ve got
this really neat thing happens we’ve got these ideas from our popular culture FDR
these ideas from our popular culture FDR
these ideas from our popular culture FDR Franklin Delano Roosevelt is famous for
Franklin Delano Roosevelt is famous for
Franklin Delano Roosevelt is famous for this quote about fear right the only
this quote about fear right the only
this quote about fear right the only thing to fear is fear itself and we get
thing to fear is fear itself and we get
thing to fear is fear itself and we get into our popular culture the idea that
into our popular culture the idea that
into our popular culture the idea that we should therefore not have fear and if
we should therefore not have fear and if
we should therefore not have fear and if you even get close to it if you feel it
you even get close to it if you feel it
you even get close to it if you feel it rising up a little bit of tension a
rising up a little bit of tension a
rising up a little bit of tension a little bit of pressure then deny that
little bit of pressure then deny that
little bit of pressure then deny that quick put it away another way don’t
quick put it away another way don’t
quick put it away another way don’t admit it you don’t have it but that
admit it you don’t have it but that
admit it you don’t have it but that doesn’t work because ironically that’s
doesn’t work because ironically that’s
doesn’t work because ironically that’s you giving it attention and it isn’t
you giving it attention and it isn’t
you giving it attention and it isn’t even what Franklin what FDR meant if you
even what Franklin what FDR meant if you
even what Franklin what FDR meant if you read the rest of the quote what he meant
read the rest of the quote what he meant
read the rest of the quote what he meant what he was pointing at was that we
what he was pointing at was that we
what he was pointing at was that we should be afraid of the unreasoned
should be afraid of the unreasoned
should be afraid of the unreasoned unjustified responses reactions that
unjustified responses reactions that
unjustified responses reactions that fear will cause right back to fear
fear will cause right back to fear
fear will cause right back to fear lighten up your lizard brain and
lighten up your lizard brain and
lighten up your lizard brain and compelling you to act that’s the part to
compelling you to act that’s the part to
compelling you to act that’s the part to be aware of not the fear but what it
be aware of not the fear but what it
be aware of not the fear but what it does to us it takes over so I lay there
does to us it takes over so I lay there
does to us it takes over so I lay there completely immobilized I mean not enough
completely immobilized I mean not enough
completely immobilized I mean not enough room to take a deep breath wraps around
room to take a deep breath wraps around
room to take a deep breath wraps around you and my blood was thundering in my
you and my blood was thundering in my
you and my blood was thundering in my ears and I could feel my body relaxing
ears and I could feel my body relaxing
ears and I could feel my body relaxing in my awareness opened up and and my
in my awareness opened up and and my
in my awareness opened up and and my right foot could move a little I started
right foot could move a little I started
right foot could move a little I started to notice things outside me too and the
to notice things outside me too and the
to notice things outside me too and the Sun was coming there’s a little light
Sun was coming there’s a little light
Sun was coming there’s a little light coming through the cracks in the snow
coming through the cracks in the snow
coming through the cracks in the snow and and this this open opened awareness
and and this this open opened awareness
and and this this open opened awareness getting attention units back and being
getting attention units back and being
getting attention units back and being able to focus again a bit meant that I
able to focus again a bit meant that I
able to focus again a bit meant that I could think again which is great
maybe if my right foot can move a little
maybe if my right foot can move a little that maybe that means that my ski tip is
that maybe that means that my ski tip is
that maybe that means that my ski tip is above the snow that’s good and the light
above the snow that’s good and the light
above the snow that’s good and the light can come through the cracks and so maybe
can come through the cracks and so maybe
can come through the cracks and so maybe I’m close enough that the air will
I’m close enough that the air will
I’m close enough that the air will circulate and I can lie here as long as
circulate and I can lie here as long as
circulate and I can lie here as long as I need to that’s good and I also became
I need to that’s good and I also became
I need to that’s good and I also became more aware of the fear itself because it
more aware of the fear itself because it
more aware of the fear itself because it isn’t gone emotions have a shelf life
isn’t gone emotions have a shelf life
isn’t gone emotions have a shelf life and the irony is if we look it last
and the irony is if we look it last
and the irony is if we look it last longer if we are willing to be with them
longer if we are willing to be with them
longer if we are willing to be with them they live out their 90 seconds
they live out their 90 seconds
they live out their 90 seconds chemically they live out there 20
chemically they live out there 20
chemically they live out there 20 minutes short-term working memory and
minutes short-term working memory and
minutes short-term working memory and and then we get to move on if the
and then we get to move on if the
and then we get to move on if the emotions lasting longer than 20 minutes
emotions lasting longer than 20 minutes
emotions lasting longer than 20 minutes it’s because we’re recreating it but if
it’s because we’re recreating it but if
it’s because we’re recreating it but if we’re willing to be with it then we can
we’re willing to be with it then we can
we’re willing to be with it then we can have some attention back and we can
have some attention back and we can
have some attention back and we can learn about what’s going on with that
learn about what’s going on with that
learn about what’s going on with that emotion and I learned that the intense
emotion and I learned that the intense
emotion and I learned that the intense drive to solve the problem of the empty
drive to solve the problem of the empty
drive to solve the problem of the empty car seat was not going to serve me that
car seat was not going to serve me that
car seat was not going to serve me that the fear was driven by a caring and a
the fear was driven by a caring and a
the fear was driven by a caring and a deep desire to help negative emotions
deep desire to help negative emotions
deep desire to help negative emotions are driven by something we care about
are driven by something we care about
are driven by something we care about and it’s only if we’re willing to be
and it’s only if we’re willing to be
and it’s only if we’re willing to be with them for a few moments maybe a few
with them for a few moments maybe a few
with them for a few moments maybe a few minutes that we can find that peace that
minutes that we can find that peace that
minutes that we can find that peace that we care about and when we focus on that
we care about and when we focus on that
we care about and when we focus on that then we can respond instead of reacting
fear pressure anxiety these big emotions
fear pressure anxiety these big emotions they don’t have to be yes no I have it I
they don’t have to be yes no I have it I
they don’t have to be yes no I have it I don’t I’m willing I won’t I admit it I I
don’t I’m willing I won’t I admit it I I
don’t I’m willing I won’t I admit it I I don’t they don’t have to be either or
don’t they don’t have to be either or
don’t they don’t have to be either or fight or flight fear and anxiety and
fight or flight fear and anxiety and
fight or flight fear and anxiety and pressure can be we can go past the
pressure can be we can go past the
pressure can be we can go past the instinctual old brain lizard response we
instinctual old brain lizard response we
instinctual old brain lizard response we can go past that these can be both and I
can go past that these can be both and I
can go past that these can be both and I can be both with it and aware of what
can be both with it and aware of what
can be both with it and aware of what else is going
open up our awareness to do that and so
open up our awareness to do that and so my challenge personally and my challenge
my challenge personally and my challenge
my challenge personally and my challenge to you as you go forward is that when
to you as you go forward is that when
to you as you go forward is that when you feel the emotion coming up don’t
you feel the emotion coming up don’t
you feel the emotion coming up don’t fight it push it away don’t deny it
fight it push it away don’t deny it
fight it push it away don’t deny it instead be willing press pause sit with
instead be willing press pause sit with
instead be willing press pause sit with it for a moment and open up your
it for a moment and open up your
it for a moment and open up your awareness because when we press pause
awareness because when we press pause
awareness because when we press pause and open up our awareness that is the
and open up our awareness that is the
and open up our awareness that is the path back to focus thank
path back to focus thank
path back to focus thank [Applause]
”
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